It's Never Too Late

It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~George Eliot

No one is born unhappy or stressed out. ?

I have been fortunate to be in the company of thousands of infants and small children (pre-school age) throughout my lengthy career in medicine. When I am seeing them in a medical setting, they are usually sick or injured. After all of these years, I am still in awe at a young child’s ability to live entirely in the present.?Infants and young children can be fearful and crying one moment and in the next moment, be happy, forgiving, at ease, and playful.?

Then one day, we start to be around other children and adults as we begin kindergarten, finding ourselves in a more structured and usually stifling setting.?Little by little, we learn how to become concerned about what others expect of us, what we can and cannot do, what we “should” and “should not” do, what to wear, how to be quiet, how to dream a little smaller, how to shrink into our seats and become invisible. And so the struggle with our thoughts begins.

I have also had the privilege of being in the company of thousands of school aged children and young adults.?The older the child, the more difficult it is to help them to shift their thinking from fearful thoughts to being receptive to hearing what will happen in their medical visit. The secret that I have found with both children and young adults, is to tell them the truth, explain what is happening honestly, reassure them that I will help them get through whatever we need to do in that visit, and that it will be okay.?

This experience has taught me a great deal about how we as adults, have arrived at our current way of thinking; thinking that is not helpful and is preventing us from being our best self. We remember vividly when our 3rd grade teacher shamed us in front of the classroom for getting an answer wrong, or when classmates made fun of us for not having the “right” clothes or noticing some other “defect”.?We have internalized all of those - ‘You are not good enough’ mantras that were told to us by a variety of people in various settings, and that we soon learned to even tell ourselves.?

Behind all of the eventual successes we have had as adults, there is a constant drumbeat in the mind that can be triggered by a single word, a smell, a sound, an intonation of voice, a finger pointed in our face, an obscene gesture in traffic, that brings it all back. We sink back into the “I’m not really good enough” mantra yet again.?

Depression is really the state of re-living the past over and over in our mind and wishing it to be something different than it was, while also believing that somehow we could have or should have done something differently to have prevented it.?

If only I had done something different, my life would be happy now…

On the other hand, anxiety is really the state of future thinking, conjuring up horrific “what if” scenarios that are the stuff of horror movies.?

We can never change the past. We can never control future events. We can only remain mentally present to have the ability to face what is actually happening in THIS moment, right now.?

When we spend time and attention giving more life to intrusive thoughts of the past or future with the idea of either changing events of the past or controlling what might be, the body follows those thoughts with chemical reactions that produce physical symptoms.?The body is really not clever enough to know that the sad thoughts about the past or anxious thoughts about the future,?are not thoughts about what is happening in THIS moment.

What can we do to stop these unhealthy thoughts??

The bad news is, we cannot control what random thoughts pop up in our brain.?

The good news is, we CAN control whether or not we pay attention to them or give them more energy to take over our dominant thoughts.?

When thoughts from the past or future scenarios start to take us over and we are feeling emotionally and physically affected by those thoughts, pause for 1-2 seconds and take a couple of deep breaths to consciously interrupt this pattern. Then turn your focus onto your surroundings in THIS moment.?

• Are these thoughts about something happening in this moment??
• Are these thoughts causing me to feel good about myself?
• Am I safe right now??
• Is there any imminent danger to me right now??

If you are not in danger and your thoughts are causing you to feel ill at ease, put your attention elsewhere.?

When you do this, you are on the way to breaking the self-destructive thought patterns and free to turn your attention to something else… the paintings or pictures on the wall in the room where you are sitting, the smell from the bakery down the street, the cool air on your face when you open the window, your dog playing with his toy at your feet.?

This is one easy way to momentarily escape the destructive thought patterns that have been keeping you down, preventing you from doing what you have always wanted to do, from being who you have always wanted to be, robbing you of the creative energy within you that is trying to find its way to your consciousness.??

Your thoughts (and mine) are nothing more than the brain trying to make sense of millions of bits of data that it has stored, to call up when needed to keep you safe.?It often does not get that right. The brain is so busy reviewing the past and trying to figure out how to keep you safe from future horrors (that will likely never happen), that it can prevent YOU, the spiritual entity behind the workings of the body, from being the inquisitive, curious being that you are, who wants to evolve and grow, from experiencing life and being filled with wonder.?

Seeing thoughts for what they are, will help you to unleash that little boy or little girl inside of you and set him/her free to be who you really want to be. There is a super hero inside all of us.?

It is never too late to be what or who you might have been. You are only one thought away from creating a completely different life.?

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Here is how I can support YOU, as you transform into the best version of yourself…

• Subscribe to digital magazine:?Magnificent Metamorphosis Magazine?contains quarterly issues with inspiring articles that support your transformation, available on your phone, tablet, or desktop browser. Each issue contains insights and impactful mindfulness-based content by a variety of global thought leaders and topics.?
• Get Chapter One of My Book: Get Chapter One of my mindfulness-based book of reflective meditations, Reflections on Transcendence??(Also available for purchase on Amazon and other online retailers globally).
• Transformational Coaching/Mentoring?: If you are ready to let go of worry, anxious thoughts, sadness, and overwhelm, to unleash the best version of yourself, we need to speak.?Message me here or from this link to schedule a call.