It’s Never Too Early to Prepare for the Future And You Can Define Future Based on a Variety of Time Frames

Written By: Dr. Rich Houston, Director of the Culverhouse School of Accountancy

With respect to driving, I believe that I’m quite proficient at the long game, but find the short game (e.g., parking, approaching ATMs, backing up) “tricky.” Earlier this week, I stopped too close to our mailbox and when I opened its door to get what passes for mail, it got wedged against my car door. Not thinking altogether fruitfully, and being in too much of a hurry, I pulled away knowing that I’d have to live with the scratches that preceded disengagement. So, my almost two-year old car’s appearance is no longer flawless. To that I say, “so what?” I knew it was just a matter of time, the suspense of “when?” loomed large, and now I don’t have to worry about my car appearing perfect.

Speaking of dwelling on seeming perfect, I know that a lot of you define yourself at least in part by your performance. Perhaps you’ve recently earned exam grades below the level you’re accustomed to, which activates the stress associated with perhaps not getting an A in a class for the first time. To that I say, I got a D in Science in the 1st quarter of 5th grade, and it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me—it permanently took perfection off the table. Facing imperfection sooner rather than later provides you with the opportunity to identify your truly important qualities that should form the basis for defining yourself.

Thanks, I guess. Someone said that a question I asked, “actually was potentially a good question.” I’m sponsoring an internal debate about which word hurts more…actually or potentially.

Comparison, envy, joy, and contentment. These four concepts have been swirling about all year, and I’ll endeavor to merge them. Comparing yourself to others is one of the root causes of envy. Envy can take one of two forms, which I find reminiscent of Goofus and Gallant— malicious and benign.

Malicious envy causes people to drag others down, and it often stems from insecurity, a perceived lack of control over your life, and concluding that someone is undeserving of their success. Benign envy stems from the belief that you’re capable of attaining goals by exerting effort and it motivates people to raise their game to achieve similar successes as others, who they see as deserving of their achievements. Importantly, benign envy is more likely when you believe that you are capable of change.

Joy is defined as feeling great happiness, which seems an unlikely permanent state. Contentment is characterized by feeling happy or satisfied, which seems largely sustainable, and it produces a sense of calm and can prevent envy. Believing that you’re not enough or that you don’t have enough seriously threaten contentment as both suggest deficiencies in your life. Notice that I said “believing” as opposed to “knowing,” as what constitutes “enough” is a matter of perception. Moreover, comparison can inhibit contentment by causing you to envy what others have instead of focusing on what you have.

I recently watched someone address a group of people and concluded that I couldn’t be as polished as they were. I ruminated over it and ultimately realized that, while in fact I’m not capable of presenting like them, I can convey information in my own, constructive way. Feeling good about yourself and your abilities, accepting your limitations, and resisting comparisons to who or what you are not are necessary and in all likelihood sufficient conditions to engender contentment. Try giving it a shot.

Some other thoughts:

• If you’re disappointed or upset with yourself, assume the role of the project manager for your success story. You may have to sub out some of the work, but that’s OK. It’s good for the local economy.
• Why do we so often get what on the surface seems to be excessively upset by something that really isn’t that big a deal? Perhaps because it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. Examine objectively how important the things you’re upset about really are and consider whether your blown fuse stems from simultaneously trying to wear too many hats.

• A justly recurring theme is how little we know about what’s going on in everyone else’s life. If we fail to consider this, it’s too easy to misinterpret someone’s words and actions, which we often incorrectly believe are directed maliciously at us. Try cutting people some slack and perhaps they’ll do the same for you.
• Have I started draping a blanket on my legs when I recline on the sofa at night because my body’s less efficient at regulating temperature, because it’s comforting, or both? And for the record it’s not really a blanket, it’s more like a thick sheet.