“It’s not myself. It’s us.“ Ted Lasso and playing from a position of (self-/us-) respect.
‘He’s naive. He’s from somewhere else. He’s WAY too much. But everywhere he goes, they love him. But that won't happen here. Here, that positive outlook will fail - we’re going to destroy him, and with that, destroy the whole club.’
This is the Episode One perspective of the owner of Richmond AFC in the award-winning 'Ted Lasso'. I persuaded my 13 year-old to give it a go last night. He wasn’t keen after the first episode, but grudgingly conceded he’d try one more. By the end of the (begged-for) third, we’d got knee-hugging, glee, and “that’s so lovely! Another!”
When I first heard about Ted, I brushed him away - a bit like the owner of Richmond AFC. “Sure, they like it, but it won’t work for me.” There's no spoilers here (I haven’t watched enough yet to ruin it for you). But here’s why Ted Lasso matters, no matter what plot lines lie ahead.
It’s a work-based show, in a Premier League club.? Ego is dripping off the walls, the public is hungry, pundits hover like vultures, and the stakes are super-high: it's a game the country loves - and there's all that money underneath. So Ted’s performance really matters. But he turns up with a smile and shamelessly says, “success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves, on and off the field.”
Before they've had a win, he fixes the showers so that after a match, the team can relax. He sorts a whip-round for a homesick player’s birthday. He listens to the kit-boy’s ideas and even credits him to the press when they work. He sees the bullying, and finds the right way to make it stop.
Ted could come in defensive. But without exception, what he does instead is puts himself in the front line and shows genuine respect for every individual. He pays attention to what they need. He tries to understand what each of them (including his secret enemies) are hungry for.?
He doesn’t confront, but he responds.? Step by step, people remember they have a choice about their own behaviour- and they see for themselves how their choices affect others’ behaviour.? Ted says, looking at one (ego) injured alpha male, “If we're gonna make an impact here, the first domino needs to fall right inside of that man's heart.”
How each and every one of us behaves really matters. Even when there’s obviously people on our own side who want us to fail to prop themselves up. Arguably, then, that's when it matters more.
On the plane to Britain in the opening episode, someone asks Ted for a photo - he says, “Can I take an ussie?” Ted says that back home, it’s called a selfie. And the guy replies,
“Well, it's not myself, it's us.”
Thanks for reading.? Here’s to the next episode.
#Leadership #InternalComms #EffectiveTeams #Us #TedLasso