It's My Mother's Fault

My father left my mother for another woman when I was three and a half. At 33, with only a high school education, little employment experience, and minimal financial assistance from my father, she was faced with the daunting task of raising three young boys alone.

Times were different then. The Catholic Church shunned her because she was divorced through no fault of her own. She was denied a credit card because she was a woman. She was not welcomed by a majority of her friends, most married, because she was, as she described it, "the fifth wheel".

Our story could have easily ended there, but it didn't, and all because of her tenacity and love for her children. In later years, when I was old enough to understand, I learned that my brothers and I were her reason for continuing on. We became her purpose, the source of her drive.

Those early years were rough. Our wardrobe was from a local thrift shop. Our milk was powdered. Our apartment was infested with cockroaches. My brothers and I didn't have most of the opportunities our peers had. There was no money for sports and other extracurricular activities, and no room for error. We were latch key kids, with the strict instructions to walk straight home from school and stay inside.

She kept moving forward. Working minimum wage jobs, she took classes at the local community college at night. How she maintained her energy and sanity I don't know. I doubt not many then, or now, could have done what she did. She said she often bumped into walls, she was that tired.

Her drive paid off with an Associates Degree several years later, which in turn was her key for landing a position as a chemist technician. She then completed her bachelors degree and had a nice career as a research scientist. Through this, she taught us to strive for success with little resources.

My brothers and I had a paper route as soon as we were allowed to by state labor law. For me, that migrated to my first "real" job at 16 (the minimum age at the time for employment in New York) at a local Burger King. In fact, since that time I have generally always held at least one job. I have constantly strove to better myself, regardless of circumstances. I could not control external conditions, but I could control how I reacted to them.

She taught me that through example, words, and love. It's her fault that I have this drive that has served my career well. From her I learned, regardless of negative situations or setbacks, to keep moving forward. There will be times when we are knocked down, but that's okay. But to lie there, that's a disgrace.

That Burger King is long gone, but I find myself today a successful business owner because of learning to persevere through adversity. I relay this story to provide a little context when I encourage those down to keep at it. They are not empty words from me, rather they are sentiments born from deep life experiences.

After my mother had successfully raised her three sons to be independent, she found two new loves of her life. The first was running, beginning at age 47. She would go on to become one of the most successful and well-known older runners in the Hudson River Valley region. The second was meeting, while running, he who would become her husband, with whom she would share over 30 wonderful years together.

Today her running days are over, and she lives as a widow. About to turn 86, she misses her past loves but continues with the positivity that has been a staple of her life. She keeps moving forward, because that is what she had to learn to do, and what she has always done. It is just who she is, and through her, how I am as well. In a sense, I am part of her legacy, a fact that I remember not just on Mother's Day, but every day.

The cover photo was taken by my stepfather in 2021 after my mother ran what was her second to last 5K and less than a year before he passed. I joined her at this event to run the half marathon distance (where I broke two hours for possibly the last time). Those who recall some of The Daily Bible Wrap Up podcast episodes (the ones from the brick studio) may have noticed this photo prominently displayed. Doing so was a small but consistent honor of her influence on my life.

If you would like to learn more about my mother's extraordinary running life, which included completing races of distances from one mile to 50K (including Bug Sur, New York, and Boston Marathons) and receiving hundreds of trophies, medals, and plaques, you can purchase her book At the Pinnacle: One Woman's Running Journey at Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/At-Pinnacle-Womans-Running-Journey/dp/0991105281/