It's Not The Mistakes... It's Really How You Deal With Them

[NOTE: Link and music contained below contains explicit lyrics]

Let's face it - we all make mistakes. If you're a founder or entrepreneur, sometimes you make mistakes everyday... You really have to, to truly understand your business - not all experiments, marketing, sales calls, operational choices work.

And if you're a type-A person, and strive to be ALWAYS at the top of your game, you take pride in being on time, not missing deadlines, and being able to answer questions. That's me; I've always been an overachiever.

But guess what. NONE OF US IS PERFECT. And no matter how many alarms I set, articles I read, or meditations I do, I still can miss a deadline, meeting, or have a question that I can't answer; no matter how much I dig into the back of my brain.

However, something happened to me today that was different, when I missed a meeting.

I didn't beat myself up! Something has clearly changed. So much so that I literally had to think about this for a few hours,while I was completing some of my administrative tasks for the day. This is what I was able to discover.

I realized that my humanity lies not in the mistake, but in how I dealt with the problem, and experienced immediate relief.

I hustled until I finished that deliverable, and only missed the deadline by two days; and was able to discover that I still had some time before the work I delivered was needed. I did something special for the team that I missed the meeting with, to let them know how special they were to me. I reached out to my trusted social media consultant friend to get the answer to the question I was unsure about. As soon as I did each of these items (within minutes of having each of these issues, by the way), I immediately felt better.

In this day and age of lots of people experiencing imposter syndrome, or feeling like they're unable to measure up to unattainable standards, you yourself may have even felt like I did. If so, I'm asking you to consider one question the next time that thought of not being enough creeps into your head:

What's one thing today I can do that helps me clean up this one mess?

Mistakes are inevitable. Each and every one of us is flawed. But what really matters is how we deal with things moreso than the specifics of what it is that we've done. And here are also some other things that makes the how so much more impactful:

• Focus on how you make people feel - Wherever you can make people feel special, acknowledged, and that you care, the better the fix can land to resolve the issue.
• Let your own feelings be your guide - When fixing a wrong, pay attention to how your body feels when you think about your solution. Do you feel a sense of relief? Do you feel the stress in your body melt away? Even if the solution seems too small, trust that feeling and do it anyway, as the energy surrounding that movement is what will be passed on in the action.
• Be humble - Even if you tend to be a perfectionist, no one past, present or future can ever truly be one. Acknowledge within yourself that you're only human, and aim to be immaculate instead (and insert Kendrick Lamar lyric here :D ). It's ok to laugh at yourself every once in a while and not take yourself so seriously!

And finally, in honor of not taking myself so seriously, I'm using #blackhistorymonth (which really to me is an all-year-round affair) to get back in the regular habit of keeping my voice alive, sharing these "little" wins of mine, and hoping to be a companion fo yours here on this platform as a friend in maintenance of consistent mental wellness practices.

What's the one mess you pledge to (or have already) clean(ed) up this week?