It's Not Me, It's You.

Thought of the Week | Julie Lawson, CEO

"Is personal #accountability dead?" No one answered. Some stared at me; others looked down. The client, a team of service providers, wanted my help understanding why they failed a major goal. My question was in response to 40 frustrating minutes of finger-pointing and blame among the team members.

This team isn't unusual. I hear versions of this argument every day: someone or something else is responsible for our failures. We didn't have the time or resources. We lacked education and training. Our parents failed us. Too much was expected of us. Society failed us. In other words, someone else made it impossible for us to act in our best interest. And the problems created by an overwhelming lack of personal accountability are now unable to be solved because no one will take the accountability to solve them.

At best, a lack of personal accountability in our work (and society) stagnates progress and leaves us frustrated. At worst, it is dangerous and life-threatening. My hometown, #stlouis , is among the top #crime cities in America. This week St. Louis has been in the national news for a variety of crimes and crime-related reasons , but when answers are sought, community leaders and politicians stand in a vicious, finger-pointing circle while innocent lives remain threatened by violence. Managers blame employees. Employees blame customers. Teachers point the finger at parents and parents point the fingers at teachers. Overweight people blame food producers. Companies blame the economy for price-gouging. Politicians blame a lack of votes. And on and on. No one is willing to take accountability.

I'm not suggesting the answers are easy. I've worked with victims of crime and violence for nearly 20 years, worked with corporate and civic leaders on complex issues for nearly 15 years, and spend a good portion of my time examining workplace conflict. There are a myriad of reasons why certain circumstances occur. Crime and conflict are human conditions, complicated by many factors. There are many reasons we behave the way we do or build the conditions of our lives. But reasons are not excuses. Excuses are a dead-end; reasons are speed bumps.

If we don't have a quick and meaningful return to radical personal accountability, our workforce and society are going to take giant leaps backwards in progress and wellbeing. Accountability starts with individual choices. We choose, every moment, what we will do with the circumstances we've been dealt (whether we had control over the cards we're dealt is irrelevant). Will I place blame on others, or work harder to achieve my goals? Will I look to others to raise my children or tend to my personal health, or will I take responsibility for that? Can I admit when I've fallen short, need help, or don't know the answer? Can I understand that life is inherently messy and unfair at times? What matters more: how I got to these circumstances or where I'm going?

The group I worked with this week has been charged with difficult self-examination. I challenged them to describe their personal power for each interaction: what they could do personally to affect progress, how they could help others achieve, and how they will react if they can't meet their goals. In coming weeks they must list every road block and identify how they might mitigate the challenge. They must meet with colleagues to prioritize the problem-solving process. And I'll be checking in with each person to see what has kept them from taking personal responsibility.

This week, take these three accountability-building actions:

1. Journal your answer: What do I feel is out of my control? What can I do to affect these circumstances, or my mindset regarding them?
2. Log (just for yourself) every time you blame someone or something else for a challenge in your life. Notice the frequency, and if you may be placing blame on something you could affect.
3. Identify a mistake you made and say it to a trusted source. Acknowledge that it was your responsibility, how it affected someone or something else, and what you can do to improve for the future.

Book of the Week | Crucial Accountability

Unsurprisingly, this week's book is Crucial Accountability by Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan and Switzler. As a certified Crucial Learning trainer I admit my bias towards this book, but it's a great primer in taking personal and collective responsibility for success. It provides tangible examples of how to build your personal and team accountability. Enjoy!

Video of the Week | Extreme Ownership

Jocko Willink is tough. Very tough. Enough so that you'll get a no-excuses introduction into extreme accountability in this #tedtalk :