It’s Not Me, It’s Them

As I vet potential clients, I often hear statements like:

? “My employees don’t listen.”

? “They’re just lazy.”

? “I’m constantly hiring new people.”

? “No matter what I do, they still complain.”

And the list goes on. These remarks prompt me to dig deeper into the leader behind the organization. I’ve noticed a common mindset among many business owners and leaders: “It’s not me, it’s them.” However, as a leader, it’s critical to pause and ask yourself an honest question:

What am I doing - or not doing that has led to this situation?

Poor leadership, or a complete lack of it, often manifests in symptoms that make it easy to blame others. Now, to be fair, sometimes staff behavior can play a role. But ask yourself:

Have they reached this point because of leadership missteps?

Here are some signs that it might be you, not them:

1. Poor or Unclear Communication - Employees are left in the dark about goals, changes, or expectations, leading to confusion and disengagement.

2. Micromanagement - Constantly interfering with employees’ tasks shows a lack of trust in their abilities, stifling their growth and initiative.

3. Low Employee Morale - Toxic environments fueled by poor leadership cause dissatisfaction, complaints, and a lack of motivation.

4. High Employee Turnover - High turnover is often less about where people work and more about how they feel while at work.

5. Resistance to Feedback - Being defensive or dismissive when employees offer feedback causes them to shut down and stop sharing ideas or concerns.

6. Not Owning Your Mistakes - Everyone makes mistakes, including leaders. Acknowledging and learning from mistakes demonstrates integrity and builds trust.

These examples are just a starting point to encourage self-reflection. The most effective leaders regularly assess their performance, own their shortcomings, and empower their teams. They trust their employees to deliver results and step in only when necessary to guide and support. So, if things aren’t where you want them to be, take a step back and reflect:

Could it be you, and not them?

Great leadership starts with accountability. Start by leading yourself, and the rest will follow.