It's Loneliness Awareness Week...

The Marmalade Trust started Loneliness Awareness Week (LAW) just three years ago, as raising awareness is an important part of changing the way we think and acknowledge loneliness. 

We need to talk about it. 

The theme for 2019 is to reduce the stigma around loneliness. Just as we’re continuing to do around Mental Health.

A while ago I came across this sentence, “We’re living in a landscape of loneliness”. It struck such a powerful chord with me that I noted it down, there and then, and here I am many months later with the perfect platform to share it.

In 2017, The Jo Cox Commission on Loneliness revealed that nine million people in the UK are affected by it.

Nine million...and that was two years ago. 

Loneliness is not only bad for our minds, it’s bad news for our physical health too, with research showing that chronic long-term loneliness can be as bad as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, and can increase the risk of blood pressure, diabetes and obesity.

Perhaps it’s no surprise then that workplace loneliness is on the rise. Have you ever spent all day surrounded by colleagues, yet still feel alone? 

I’ve felt that. I can remember writing out my resignation letter for a new job I felt incredibly unsupported and isolated in. And I was ready to hand it in... until I admitted to a colleague how I was really feeling, and luckily, help and support quickly followed. But not before I’d suffered with anxiety, sleepless nights and copious amounts of crying.

With technology replacing human interaction, heavier workloads, which can mean less socialising and the popularity of working from home, it’s increasingly the case that people experience loneliness.

Although it’s some time ago, a 2014 survey conducted by Relate revealed that 42% of us don’t have a single friend in the workplace, and that’s a pretty awful stat, considering that British people work some of the longest hours in Europe.

We all know that technology undoubtedly plays a huge part. We send emails or instant messages, we use ‘helpful’ communication programmes which provide virtual team workspaces. We use LinkedIn and Facebook where we can see how people are, without having to physically check-in with them, we can swipe left or right in our quest to find the perfect match... the list goes on!

For some people, the whole concept around ‘hot desking’ can feel isolating. Part-time and flexible hours which suit our busy lifestyles can mean that the feeling of a ‘workplace family’ can be lost. And of course in this health conscious world, fewer and fewer people seem to go to the pub together at the end of a working day or week, swapping a pint for precious family time.

So are we in danger of losing the social interaction of work? 

The increase in people working from home is also a contributing factor, as of course emails and texts are just not personable - so there’s a real danger of being cut off from the tribe.

We’re very aware of this issue as a team. As many of you will already know, here at The Chrysalis Crew we work a four-day week, we also divide our time between home and one of our four office locations, so we can all be apart as much as we are together! We combat this with a Crew Conference Call both at the beginning and end of the working week, and if we’re not office-based, we talk to each other every day, by phone if possible, it’s not perfect, but on the whole it works for us, and we’re a close-knit team, comfortable enough with each other to ‘open up’ if required. 

At times, I have to remind myself that being busy with emails and messages and spending downtime on social media or scrolling through sites doesn’t mean I’m getting the right amount of social interaction, no matter how many online and WhatsApp groups I belong to! 

I’m also mindful about the time I spend in the world of Instagram... the ‘my best life’ universe that can make me feel woefully inadequate if I let it.

But it’s not all doom and gloom! Think about your own work environments for a moment, the Marmalade Trust talk about encouraging a ‘workplace of connections’, and it doesn’t have to be overly complicated or costly. It’s simply about recognising how to interact with others again and making sure those really important points of social contact are part of our working day.

I don’t have all the answers of course, I simply wanted to open the door on the subject and start the conversation.

Here are six tips on beating loneliness: 

1. When you meet up with friends, talk about your feelings, not just your jobs, or families or sport etc. Being honest about your life helps people feel closer to you.
2. Plan special events such as birthdays or Christmas well in advance to minimise feeling lonely at times when it really matters.
3. Invite out a new person - someone you’ve met in the last month to the cinema, for a coffee etc.
4. If you have feelings of loneliness at work, fill your lunch break with an enjoyable activity - listen to a funny podcast, start to learn a new language or skill etc.
5. Give yourself permission to say no to events where you can’t take a plus one.
6. Don’t wait for someone to call, email or text - contact them! If they’re busy it doesn’t mean they are rejecting you. Try again.

And finally, I mentioned the Marmalade Trust right at the start of this article, why not read more about this wonderful UK charity that raises awareness of loneliness and helps people to make new friendships.

#LetsTalkLoneliness

Sent from my iPhone