It's Not Just You Ep 9: Asking for a Raise + Silencing Self-Doubt

Hey baddies! Welcome back to It's Not Just You where we call out the BS that's holding us back in the workplace.

In this episode, we're tackling two juicy questions:

?? "I was denied a raise because of 'budget issues' — how do I know when to ask again?"

?? "Why do I feel like I can't speak up unless I'm 100% sure of my answer?"

Check out the episode 9 highlights, stream the full episode or keep reading for a recap.

I was denied a raise due to budget issues. How do I know when to ask again?

Reality Check:

You probably already know when to ask again—you’re just avoiding it because the answer is uncomfortable. We all hesitate because we're terrified of hearing "no" again, but indulging in confusion getting you closer to that raise!

Check Your Mindset

That fear of rejection? It’s real. But don't let it paralyze you. Whether you're freezing or getting sucked into "I'll ask when I'm perfect" mode, it’s time to confront that head-on.

Navigate Like a Boss

• Validate Yourself: Know your worth, regardless of whether others recognize it immediately.
• Set Specific Goals: Even if you didn’t nail down clear targets before, you can always do it now.
• Ditch the Self-Criticism: Whether the answer is yes or no, don’t beat yourself up. Learn, adjust, and keep moving forward.
• Have a Plan: Create a plan to navigate the meeitng like a boss and be proud of how you showed up regardless of the outcome. Download my workbook for an easy step-by-step guide.

Check out the full episode.

Why can't I speak up unless I'm 100% sure I have the right answer?

That feeling of needing the perfect answer before you speak up? That’s self-doubt, fueled by fear of making mistakes or looking foolish. It’s a common freeze response that stops us in our tracks.

Let’s Talk Social Conditioning:

• Women are often socialized to prioritize harmony and avoid mistakes, setting an impossibly high bar for themselves.
• Imposter syndrome (read: patriarchy disease) sneaks in, making us feel like frauds if we don’t have the answer wrapped in a bow.

Here's How to Break Free:

• Build Emotional Muscle: Start with tiny risks. Ask for a discount, give a random compliment. It’s all about flexing that courage muscle.
• Dare of the Day: Push yourself outside your comfort zone, even if just a little. You’ll be amazed at how fast you get braver.

Pro Tips:

• Embrace the 50/50: Life is a mix of wins and losses. Getting comfortable with discomfort is key.
• Cultivate an Inner Lizzo: Drop the shouldas, couldas and wouldas and talk to yourself like your fiercest cheerleader.
• Move Forward, Imperfectly: Taking imperfect action is always better than staying stuck in inaction.

Check out the full episode.

Bottom Line

Whether you’re asking for a raise or finding your voice in meetings, the key is to understand what’s holding you back, build resilience, and take small steps forward. Career success isn’t about being flawless—it’s about showing up, learning, and growing along the way.

Check out the episode 9 highlights or stream the full episode.

Join us for the next one! On Wed 10/2 @ 10a PT, we'll be covering:

?? I get the sense that if I don’t play small, I’ll be fired. What should I do?

?? I’m expected to drive huge results and then told to stay in my lane. How can I do that?

Catch the livestream here on LinkedIn, or register and join us for networking with other badass women REGISTER HERE.

Upcoming Masterclass Announcement

Join me for "Overcome Burnout & Reignite Your FIRE" Friday, October 11th at 11 AM Pacific. This is your key to being able to stop the overwork and overwhelm and reclaim your peace of mind. REGISTER HERE.

It’s Not Just You is my bi-weekly series, where I tackle all the real-talk issues women face on the job — think perfectionism, burnout, boundary-setting, and finding your fierce voice!

I spill the tea on my own 25 year journey in tech and drop some nuggets of wisdom on asking for that raise, ditching the guilt after saying no, and redefining your self-worth.

AND when you join live, you’ll also get some structured networking with other women facing the same exact challenges!

This series is all about creating a badass, supportive sisterhood where women connect, share, and lift each other up. Register here.