It's not just work, it's family

As the years have passed I have had the honor of working with and leading many fantastic individuals. It has occurred to me that work and the relationships we create are more than just casual acquaintances. This is not to say that I am best friends with everyone I’ve ever worked with, but the relationships we form can both be ever-lasting and intertwined all at the same time. With this in mind it is important for the employees of today to build lasting relationships for the future, your life may depend on it!

Blur the Lines

While working at VMware in the mid-2000s (saying oughts’ does not feel right!) I had the chance to work for and with some incredible people. It also afforded me many opportunities to learn and make some mistakes to hone my leadership/management skills. I hired >50 people over a span of 10 years and worked with people from all walks of life. One of the most prolific leaders I had the chance to work for at VMware was @CarlEschenbach. Throughout the years I had the privilege of attending many sales kickoffs, leadership meetings and VMworld. At most of these events Carl would be front and center firing the sales teams up about the coming year/products. His passion was evident. During one of those speeches, I don’t remember when but suffice it to say it was many years ago, Carl made a comment that has stuck with me until today. He implored the leadership team to “Blur the lines. Get to know your employees, get close to them almost to the point of being friends. Whatever you are personally comfortable with you should do.” While this statement is not a direct quote I think it captures the essence of what he was trying to purvey to the leadership team.  I remember thinking about this for a long time after, trying to figure how to do this but still keep a level of professionalism. After a while I decided that yes, this is great advice and so friends it is!

Friends at Work

There are 168 hours in a week. If you spend 8 hours sleeping per day (that is the goal right?) it leaves 112 hours for you to do whatever you wish. If you consider today’s highly connected, driven employees, they are working 45 hours per week plus another 10 on average getting to work, talking about work or generally thinking about it. That means we spend 49% of our time on something other than our families, friends, etc. In other words you better try to enjoy where you work and the people you work with, otherwise life will be one unhappy mess.

By getting closer to my employees, co-workers and leaders years ago I was able to form lasting relationships at all levels of the organization. Of course this was not an easy task and I had to work hard at it.  I also recognized that not everyone could be “friends” at work like I would like to be. That’s ok. I realized that while I like to get to know people and find it a natural skill to “blur the lines” not everyone else can. In the end I realized if I created an open culture built on mutual respect, we could tackle any issue, build a great team and have a lot of fun doing it. My own philosophy on this evolved and I felt that if we had a family oriented culture then the rest of the issues will naturally work themselves out.

Time to go build new friends/family

Two years ago I decided to leave VMware to pursue a great opportunity and career at a new company, ServiceNow. Further evidence of the work/friend mentality could not be more apparent as my current manager was my old manager from VMware. I had come over to ServiceNow to help move the company from a single product solution to a multi-product platform play, no easy task. One of the biggest issues we had to tackle was the realignment of the solution consulting organization into segments, verticals and practices (horizontal/overlay). To make this all happen we had to quickly hire lots of new folks. We had to get them in here, teach them the product, teach them the sales motion and get them out there selling fast. We are still in the midst of this journey, but so far, so good. I continue to use the philosophies of my past and find that it blends even better in my current employer because one of the company philosophies is transparency. We apply this to everything and I find when I build the personal relationships with my staff, coworkers, managers/leaders, etc. transparency comes easily. We have the relationship and trust thus everyone knows where they stand.

With Friends and Family comes great responsibility

I was speaking with one of my coworkers the other day. We have worked together on and off for over ten years. We are great friends and our relationship, personally and professionally, comes naturally. This person does not report to me directly but we work closely together. We had just finished a huge project - ok he and his team finished it, I just showed up! Anyway, the project had gone very well but we were conducting a feedback session to make sure we learn for the next time and make things better. In the end a feeling came over me that I could not describe, but I realized the lines had blurred for not only myself and this person, but for many of the staff and the organization as a whole. It’s not like this was a watershed moment but I realized that in leadership you have more than your own job/family you are responsible for, but an entire set of people. I felt that if we can execute well at task A or complete a certain sales motion then the whole company can be successful. With this success it is more than personal, it affects the lives of hundreds. Think about it, broad success across the sales organization that I am lucky to be a part of will provide career and financial security to literally hundreds of people. This is both exhilarating and scary at the same time.

It’s not just business, it’s personal

In the past few months I have come to realize a few things. First off, stick with the style and philosophies that got you where you are, shifting gears abruptly can cause chaos. Along with this, develop your own style. I cannot be as dynamic as Carl, but I can be just as personal and endearing in my own way to every individual I come in contact with in my personal and professional life. I also want to build lasting relationships, not all of them will be best friends but as many people have quoted before me, it’s a small world. You never know when today’s coworker might be your future boss, confidant or will help you close that next big deal.

The old adage “Nothing personal, it’s just business.” (In case you ever wondered who came up with that phrase it was Otto Berman) to me is a load of crap! Life is short, make some friends and hopefully along the way you will affect the lives of many in a positive way, never mind your own.