It's Not How We are Alike But How We are Different that Seeds Exponential Success

I was in a meeting. The intention was good. Everyone was focused on things we could do to create a healthy, wholesome, respectful community where race-based hatred and violence would no longer exist.

What struck me was how many people were working from the assumption that the way we would bridge our racial differences was by creating experiences that helped people see how similar they were beneath the skin. 

Yes, we all want the same general things: respect, opportunity, love, safety, validation. But, as a black woman, often the reason I don't feel those things is because white people view my differences as threatening, uncomfortable, exotic ... or inconsequential.

Then I noticed the pattern. Everyone who was suggesting we look for similarities instead of differences was white. All the people of color were suggesting activities that respected and validated the heritage and potential of anyone who was considered "the other."

Inclusion is not based on feeling comfortable about our similarities. Inclusion is based on recognizing, valuing and utilizing our differences.

Tracy Brown

As it relates to race and ethnicity, the conversation reminded me that the majority of people with brown skin in the United States already recognize how they are "different" and have known their entire lives that their success (and sometimes their survival) requires them to know (and emphasize) the ways they are similar to the majority. It's primarily white people who have viewed or labeled the differences as deficient, threatening, fearful or worse. So this focus on recognizing similarities is actually about breaking through the subconscious stereotype that people who are not white are not as valuable, competent, smart, creative, worth or equal.

But don't think I am throwing out the importance of creating this awareness. Recognizing similarities is a good place to start. Recognizing the value that is inherent in those who have had a different cultural experience is the next step. Then, finding ways to honor and then capitalize on those differences, thereby maximizing their value, is when you begin to approach inclusion.

• A group of employees with Asian and Indian cultural backgrounds working at a Fortune 100 company were able to lay out an effective strategy for increasing sales in convenience stores that were owned or operated by Korean, Vietnamese and Indian managers. Their recommendations resulted in millions of dollars in additional sales. To implement the strategy required going beyond the generic process that had previously applied to all convenience store managers who ordered products; but it did not require matching sales people to purchasers based on race or ethnicity. Instead it required every sales person to recognize and understand the impact culture has on relationship building, decision making and follow up.
• A church I worked with experienced the percentage of regular attendees and members who have black, Hispanic and American Indian cultural backgrounds increase from less than 2% to more than 20% after they stopped trying to make everyone fit into the same mode that had been successful 15 years earlier. They started asking for input and began making incremental changes in the music, in the message and in the activities offered to members. To their surprise, they began to recognize that many of the requests for changes were not only good for the newer members but created higher engagement for almost all congregants.

This phenomenon of inclusion is not just limited to race and ethnicity, although that was the focus of the conversation I was in and it is the lens that provides the easiest examples. It's also true when there are a few women in a predominantly male environment. Or when someone who is Jewish is working in a predominantly Christian work group. Or when there is a small percentage of any group that is perceived to be different in some significant way from the majority. But when someone is different by gender, sexual orientation, physical (dis)ability or religion we typically don't only look for similarities. We assume we have a common similarity in the mission, vision or established goal for our group or team and then we set expectations based on individual uniqueness. For example:

• When someone on our team practices a religion that is not a part of our group's norm we are generally sensitive to and sometimes curious about the holy days that are different or any accommodations our team might need to make to allow that team member to participate fully. In a predominantly Christian group we are proud of ourselves for recognizing it won't work to schedule that awards ceremony on Yom Kippur, for accepting our colleague who doesn't celebrate birthdays because of his religious beliefs or for remembering to avoid planning a big luncheon during Ramadan.
• When an employee who has a hearing impairment needs to attend a class or workshop, we make sure a sign language interpreter is available or we prep the trainer or facilitator in advance to be aware of the need to stay in the direct line of vision so the employee can read her lips more effectively.
• When a small group of women begin to work in a previously all male environment, we don't put the entire burden of "fitting" in on the women or tell them the team's success is dependent on them proving they can make the men comfortable. Both the men and the women are provided with information to increase their awareness of potential difficulties and they are both held to behavior standards that can support effective teamwork.

Let's go beyond creating comfort based on how much we are similar. Let's be curious ... and then courageous ... about how strong and successful we can be when we notice, acknowledge and value our differences.

Comfort. Then Curiosity. Then Courage.

We already know how to do this. It's past time to apply this level of respect, courtesy and validation to all differences, including race and ethnicity. Start by being a role model in your workplace, church and community.

Tracy Brown is President of intentional inclusion inc. and is a nationally recognized expert on the multicultural, multigenerational, multiethnic workplace. She is the author of several books, including 71 Ways to Inspire Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion. She is known for her ability to transform the conversation about diversity from a political focus on civil rights to an empowering focus on mutual respect and increased productivity. She is also the moderator for the Facebook Group: What is Mine to Do. #minetodo