If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no.

I went for a walk last week with a close girlfriend who is also an entrepreneur. 

She shared with me about a big decision she’s waffling over in her business, and I shared with her about a totally different big decision I was waffling about.

“Do you think we’re struggling with the same thing here?” she asked me.

Not seeing it, I asked her to clarify.

“You and I are constantly moving the finish line on ourselves.”

Her words immediately quieted my mind and body. Yep, that was it. 

The decision I was waffling over could be boiled down to “do I keep the status quo or take the next big leap?"

I was having a hard time making the decision because anytime I thought of keeping the status quo I had FOMO and fearful feelings come up. 

But anytime I thought of making the big leap forward, my nervous system would rev a little more, as if I was suddenly overly caffeinated.

Neither were pleasant, so I’d push off making the decision.

Ultimately I came back to the age old decision making wisdom: if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. 

With that, I decided to shelve the big leap for now—it’s just not the right timing. And then I intentionally let myself turn toward feeling the FOMO and the fear.

Not surprisingly, those feelings passed pretty quickly, and now I just feel a sense of relief and quiet to not have moved the finish line on myself.

This is a pattern I’ve noticed over the years in my work—my nervous system gets into a mobilized state because I’m busy and things are moving fast, and then that state perpetuates itself. 

For example, when I’m busy and stressed, I end up saying yes to taking on more commitments. It’s crazy making! 

But it makes sense: when your nervous system is in a mobilized state, that’s a survival state. 

You’re not using your higher thinking and reasoning to ask, does this work for me? You’ll just frantically and unthinkingly take it on and figure out how to make it work later.

Sound familiar? 

Or maybe you’re more likely to get overwhelmed by the busy and go into an immobilized state. Rather than staying in go-go-go mode, you fall into burnout mode and disengage.

No matter your pattern during stress, I have something for your nervous system.

I’d like to share with you The Basic Exercise. It’s a very simple and very powerful eye movement exercise that helps to regulate your nervous system. 

It can bring you down from a mobilized state, or bring you up from an immobilized state.  

I’ve used The Basic Exercise before important speaking gigs, difficult conversations, and before making big leaps, and I can attest to how powerful it can be in shifting energy and focus in less than a minute.

In full disclosure, I’m sharing this with you for two reasons:

1. Because it’s a potent and easy practice that I know will help you.
2. Because in signing up to get the video, you will also be put onto my regular newsletter list.

Why the second reason? 

Well, because when coming to that big decision in my business last week, I also scanned for what else in my business might not be a hell yes, and I landed on Relational Rewire.

I already write a weekly newsletter that I am committed to sending to my private list, and taking on this second newsletter proved over the last few months to be too much.

I would LOVE to have you join me on the other list where I’ll continue writing weekly articles and sharing resources.

So click here to get access to The Basic Exercise. 

You can read through the article to see how this practice relates to Polyvagal Theory. (If you want to know more about Polyvagal Theory, go back to last week’s Relational Rewire and watch the free video I shared).

Then be sure to scroll to the bottom and submit your email to get access to The Basic Exercise AND to ongoing newsletters from me in your inbox.

And while you’re at it, maybe do a bit of a hell yes audit for yourself: Look at what you’ve got going on on a regular basis and ask yourself “Is it a hell yes?” 

Cuz if it isn’t, it’s a hell no! You get to honor yourself and your time and your energy by letting go of the hell no’s.