It’s Hard To Say Goodbye...

Even if it’s just a chair

We can’t pick and choose our emotions. Sometimes they sneak up on us unexpectedly. Emotions are powerful and can move us to tears. That’s kind of where I am right now, in the tears phase.

So what’s driving this emotional upheaval? Saying goodbye to the ugliest, cheapest, and most uncomfortable recliner I’ve ever owned. But it’s not the chair's fault. After all, it’s just a chair, right?

This chair didn’t start its life with me like most chairs. It wasn’t a chair we’d planned for, shopped for, or even wanted. It was purchased out of necessity and very quickly.

It was late September 2021, and my long-awaited rotator cuff surgery was finally happening. Just before the operation, I learned it would be nearly impossible for me to lie in my bed for a minimum of three months, at best. The doctor’s office recommended a recliner for sleeping, as this was the only viable and comfortable option after the surgery.

Allison and I agreed, I didn’t need fancy or pretty, just functional. The cheapest recliner we could find for this 12-week window of healing was around $300. My wife made quick work of ordering online with delivery the next day from a large furniture store.

I was happy to see this ugly gray recliner arrive. Knowing it was my temporary bed and nothing more, I didn’t have an emotional reaction to its arrival. This delivery was unlike our leather sofa we spent eight years searching for. I was overjoyed the day that beautiful tan leather sofa arrived; it made our living space warm, cozy, and the perfect place to chill. But not this chair; it was an ugly gray recliner, probably built in a factory in less than 10 minutes, with not a stitch of craftsmanship to its name.

For the next five months, that recliner got to know every inch of my legs, back, and butt. I became one with it, and it, one with me. We were inseparable.

I made the slow transition back to my bed over the course of many nights and eventually didn’t need the chair for healing. But somehow, this ugly $300 recliner became a fixture in my family room. People treated it like it was their personal relaxing chair, thus elevating its status from temporary resident to fixture.

For the next year, our lives went on, and the ugly gray recliner served many asses in need of rest. From in-laws to dogs, New Year’s Eve guests to laundry baskets, we definitely got our money’s worth from this ugly thing.

Then, just as I was about to get rid of the thing, I received my cancer diagnosis. Suddenly, the chair wasn’t as high a priority on my to-do list. So, once again, it remained.

Good thing it stayed too. That chair became my surgical recovery chair for the second time, then my post-chemo chill chair, my radiation recliner, and eventually the bane of my existence. The chair became my resentment recliner. I hated everything about it, what it stood for, its history… I wanted it burned, smashed, and hauled to a landfill somewhere out of state. Another planet would’ve been better

.

I had made plans with my friends Andres and Adrian to utilize one of their businesses, a junk removal company, to get rid of the thing by bringing over their steel-sided trailer so we could bring the chair outside. I wanted to host a smash and burn party, allowing myself and all the friends who wanted to take their aggressions out on this thing to beat it to a pulp before setting it ablaze. I was not going to let that bad juju go further than my home.

But in a moment of clarity, of sane and rational thinking, I realized it's just a chair. It didn't do anything to me. It's not at fault for the experiences I had, nor the pain, nor the suffering… none of it.

So it's time for me to say goodbye to it.

Rather than taking out my frustrations and the emotions of the last several years on this inanimate object, I decided to do something positive with it. I decided to donate it to someone who might need it, to someone who might get use out of it, and to someone whose life might be positively impacted by it.

Yes, it's hard to say goodbye, but I'm sure it will be easy for its next owner to say hello.