It's Happening Again

Echoes of Inquiry

Hello there, old friend

It sneaks up on me. I don’t realize it’s happening until I’m already in it.

I only mention it in case you can relate to it.

I looked at the calendar and realized it was Saturday and I hadn’t done a post for King’s Chronicles yet. I also had done no writing on any books during the previous week—with good reason, mind you. Hannah, our disabled daughter, requires 24/7 care, and her night nurse took vacation, so instead of the usual three nights spent in her room (a mere 36 hours), I had cared for her for 60 hours in the previous week, five nights in a row.

In a row. Twelve hours at a time.

She doesn’t require attention every minute, so I could have gotten some writing done, but I had not. I got some sleep Friday night (eleven straight, glorious hours), and then got up late on Saturday. And basically did nothing.

Exhaustion? Maybe. It’s hard to tell the difference between exhaustion and depression. But depression is an old friend, and Saturday felt familiar, like trying to walk through knee-deep molasses pulling a wagon with a broken wheel.

I know that old trick where I say to myself, “Just five minutes. Just work for five minutes, and when time is up, you can quit if you want to.” For most people, five minutes gets the wagon rolling. Does that work for you? You simply need starting energy? It works most of the time for me. But not when the molasses pulls at my calves. Five minutes is up? I’m down.

Fortunately, the molasses drained out in the last day or so. I’ve been tied up with chores all day today, and since it’s now Monday, I thought, “I could just wait until Friday and start over again.” And that would have been perfectly acceptable.

It’s hard to tell the difference between exhaustion and depression. But depression is an old friend, and Saturday felt familiar, like trying to walk through knee-deep molasses pulling a wagon with a broken wheel.

But today I wanted to write. Today, at the end of the chore day, getting ready to go back into Hannah’s room for 12 hours tonight, Callie came to visit. (If that’s an obscure reference, she comes from The Way of the Three-Year-Old Why , the first book in the Sparklight Chronicles (shameless plug).) Because I wanted to share with you a mindset that may help you when you find yourself wading through molasses.

You see, the most common advice for people who write newsletters like King’s Chronicles is, “Be consistent. If you’re going to do once a month, then do it on the same day each month. If you’re going to do weekly, then make sure you publish on the same day every week.” We’re only, what, three or four weeks into regular publishing on King’s Chronicles? My intended day is Friday, and for the last couple of weeks, it has actually come out on Saturday. Then the molasses happened, when every breath became a conscious effort, and nothing came on Friday, or Saturday, or even Sunday.

The temptation is to throw up my hands, moan around a bit, “recognize” the reality that I don’t have enough control over my plans to publish regularly, and give up. The thought crossed my mind.

And then, in essence, Callie whispered to me: “Not this time, Bubba. Teddy Roosevelt once quoted Squire Bill Widener, who said, ‘Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.’ Good old Bill figured that out, and you can too. Consistent would be best. But done is better than perfect. Now, get moving, or I’ll call you Bubba again.”

So there’s your encouragement this week. Done is better than perfect. Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it’s enough.

Reading Reflections

Self-compassion Isn’t a Luxury

This week I’m reading Sovereign by Emma Sepp?l?. I’m still in it, but already I can tell you it is the best book I have read that shares actionable, real-world strategies for practicing self-compassion based on hard-nosed, scientific research. I don’t mean “scientific” like those woo-woo books that claim “science proves the Law of Attraction” with no specific citations. Dr. Sepp?l? is a bona fide research scientist and lecturer at Yale University. She teaches leadership at the Yale School of Management, and she is the Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Her insights have undergone rigorous testing not only in the laboratory but also in the field with no-nonsense, battle-hardened members of the United States Marines.

She starts with this: “Sovereignty is internal freedom and a relationship with yourself so profoundly life-supportive and energizing that you access your fullest potential. The full potential you were born for.” (Emphasis in the original.)

Maybe because I’m reading this, I have given myself grace to run a couple of days late while also honoring my need to write. As I’ve told you before, I thought I had quit writing because I was depressed, but I figured out that I was depressed because I wasn’t writing. That doesn’t mean all you have to do to overcome depression is write. For at least some of us, though, a failure to honor our core values leads to depression. That’s why I wrote/am writing The Sparklight Chronicles , and that’s why we produce the podcast called “The Alignment Show .”

And that’s why I recommend Sovereign to you.

Passages and Pathways

Unexpected Labor

I’ve already shared with you a bit about last week, so you already know I hit a snag working on the next in The Sparklight Chronicles, Real Speak. Along with taking care of Hannah, I’ve also had to engage in a lot of physical labor as we get ready for some major work to be done in our bathroom. Long story short, we not only have to replace a toilet but also a five-foot-square area around it. Our house is eclectically and whimsically well-stocked (some would call it “cluttered”), and so making space for them to get in and out and do the work requires a lot of effort, and I’m not nearly as fit as I used to be. We will get it done, though, because we have to.

I still must labor away at reducing the collection, but I can tell that writing is coming back online as well. I’ll aim for Friday, maybe Saturday, and I’ll update you then.

Donn King is The Confidence Cultivator. He is the author of The Sparklight Chronicles series of business parables (DonnKing.com/Books ) and a professor of communication studies (which means “a professor of standing up in front of people and saying stuff”). He’s also a pastor, a speaker, and a communication coach. Reach out to [email protected] to see how he could help you increase your impact, gain influence, and build your career.

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