It's a 'no' from me, boss: Your guide to setting boundaries at work

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Does the idea of saying "no" to your boss stress you out? Let's talk.

Setting boundaries is a must. If you don't, your performance can slip and burnout can creep in. But when you're early in your career or just joining a new company, it can feel like you don't have permission to say no. You want to make a good impression, build your reputation and show that you can do your job — and do it well. The pressure to prove yourself can turn you into a yes-man. That comes at a cost.?

Take it from me.

Not saying 'no' gets you … nowhere

A few months into my role, I made a misguided, rash decision. I was moving at what felt like a mile a minute, so I made a quick call to check off a task on my to-do list and moved on.

It was not the right decision.

All of a sudden, messages were flying back and forth and senior colleagues were getting looped in. I had really messed up, and I was terrified. As an anxious girlie, you already know I had a meltdown while trying to fix the problem. We figured out a solution, but I felt like I wouldn't be able to recover.?

I live to tell the tale, so obviously I did. But even thinking back to that mistake, my heartbeat picks up. Why am I reliving this trauma for you? Well, because my mistake was a consequence of not setting boundaries.

Not only was I a few months into my role, I also was on a contract and trying to go full time. I got hung up on this idea that the more responsibilities I had, the more valuable I'd be. But taking on so much didn't make me a top performer, it compromised the quality of my work.?

I came to this realization in a (very tearful) conversation with my then manager. We recognized that I was overworked and together figured out a more manageable workload. I'm very grateful to him and how he helped me handle the situation. I'm even thankful for this experience (despite the ensuing mental breakdown) because it taught me the necessity of saying no.?

How to say 'no' to your boss

Turning down work when you've reached your max can be uncomfortable. My Let's Talk Offline co-host Jamé and I both have had to learn how to say no and enforce our boundaries while navigating power dynamics. We talked all about this in our latest episode . Here are some of the highlights:

Communication is the name of the game. You have to assess how psychologically safe you feel with your manager. If you trust that you can be vulnerable with them, you can say: "I'm feeling overloaded and am trying to maintain the quality of my work. Here's what I've already done to organize myself. Together, can we decide the best way to handle my workload, if this new task is a top priority?"?

But what if your manager isn't the most supportive? It helps to present an action plan that pulls in your allies. For example: "For that project I'm working on with Jamé, she mentioned has the bandwidth to take on more. So, I'm going to pass off [xyz] to her, so I can prioritize this new task you're giving me. What do you think of this plan?"?

Ultimately, it comes down to proactively communicating your boundaries and sharing context when you need to say no.?

?? Listen to the full episode of Let's Talk Offline for more on setting boundaries. You'll learn how to figure out what your boundaries are and how to make them stick — because (trust us) people will test you.

?? In this episode, we have a fun segment for you: (Mis)Understood the Assignment. We spill the tea on our biggest work fails, from embarrassing stories to our most humbling moments. This week, Jamé is talking about the time she wore white shorts to the office … I'll just leave it at that.

?? After you listen to the episode, share your takeaways with us by tagging Jamé and I in a post on LinkedIn. We want to chat with our work besties!

Before you go…

A friendly reminder to listen to, follow and rate the show on your favorite podcast app. See all the ways you can find Let's Talk Offline here . Also, don't forget to send us your burning questions for our Dear Work Bestie segment. You can email us at [email protected] .?

See you back here next Tuesday. We'll be tackling how to navigate the unspoken rules of work with LinkedIn's very own Mary Kerbs . Mary is not only going to demystify HR, she's also going to share how to set yourself up for success in the first 30, 60 and 90 days of a new role.

In the meantime, remember that Jamé and I always have your back. So if something comes up, let's talk offline.

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