"It's The Fine Rain That Soaks" Lessons on setting a life goal and being successful.

I was thinking today about some life principles that my father taught me as a young boy growing up, things he drilled into my head and my heart that helped define who I am as a person both personally and professionally.

My Dad, Ross van Steenis started out his career in 1936 during the Great Depression. He was twelve years old at the time and he worked in a large neighborhood hardware store located on the south side of Detroit, Michigan. Dad learned the business from the ground up, working after school, on weekends and during summer break, sweeping floors and stocking shelves. The hardware also had a very large plumbing department and employed a number of plumbers that would do work all over the City when people had a plumbing problem that they couldn't handle themselves.

Eventually Dad worked his way up to become a sales clerk and he loved it. He was very good at sales and he made it a point to learn everything he could about the hardware business and about the customers and their needs. He learned both the hardware and the plumbing business so that he could better help his customers solve whatever hardware or plumbing problem they needed to fix. By doing so Dad helped build the customer base and grow the business.

When World War II came, Dad joined the United States Marine Corps after graduating from high school in 1942.  After the war, he went to work as a salesman for a wholesale hardware and house wares supplier in Detroit, Michigan, the George C. Weatherbee Company. Dad was the hardest worker I have ever known. He started out a territory salesman and retired from the company the Vice President of sales thirty years later because of health issues.  

As a salesman selling hardware and house wares, Dad knew that he could sell just about anything and that he had a big future ahead of him. He was determined to be the best at this new business. As a Marine, he fought against Japanese and won so he wasn't about to let anything stand in his way. 

When the S.S. Kresge Company decided they were going to start a revolutionary new business model and opened K-Mart, Dad wanted their hardware and house wares business. Unfortunately, they had a supplier they liked and weren’t interested in making a change. Dad knew that the day would come when the company had a need that the current supplier couldn't fill. All he had to do was be there with the product they wanted and he would get a foot in the door, so he designed a strategy to penetrate Kresge and win their business.

Every Tuesday for more than two years, Dad took an order pad, his brief case, his lunch and a book to Kresge headquarters. He sat in the lobby of the offices from the moment they opened the office in the morning until the moment they closed for the evening. He would spend most of his day writing orders for other customers or preparing to meet his customers the rest of the week and if he ran out of things to do, he would read whatever book he with him had that day.  

It was early one morning on a blazing hot and humid July day, when Dad was well into third year of spending Tuesdays at the Kresge office still waiting for an opportunity to serve K-Mart. A few minutes after 10:00, the buyer invited Dad into his office. The buyer asked Dad, “Ross, do you have any window fans? Our regular supplier is out and won’t have any for more than two weeks and we need them today.” Dad assured the buyer he could deliver fans to their warehouse for distribution that day. They trucked over every fan they had in the warehouse that was more than a rail car full and they had another rail car due in the next day. Kresge took them all and stocked stores in Michigan, Indiana and Ohio. That was the day Dad earned the K-Mart business and replaced the supplier that was out of fans when the customer needed them desperately.  

That order and the business that followed earned Dad a promotion to Vice President of Sales where he remained until he retired. 

When Dad was home from the road (He traveled about 40 weeks a year) and we were having dinner around the dining room table, Dad never missed an opportunity to drive home some important life lesson that he felt I should learn. One of his favorites was about being the best at what ever I did. He would tell me, “Bill, the world pays for producers, BE ONE!” Then he would tell me a story that would illustrate his point that was based on something that had happened to him recently in business or in life.

Dad shared this particular proverb with great frequency and I must have heard it at least 100 times growing up under his roof, “Son, it’s not the big thunderstorm that comes occasionally that makes the crops grow. Those big storms never last, are not consistent and more often than not, even though they bring a lot of rain, they wash out the crops and do more damage than good.” Then he would give me the Money Line. “Son, it’s the fine rain that soaks that's the one that makes crops grow." Dad would tell me, "The fine rain is consistent, it does no harm and it can be relied upon to nourish the crops." It didn't take long for me to realize that this was a metaphor for the value of building solid, long lasting and meaningful relationships. I needed to "be like the fine rain that soaks in all of my relationships." These dinner table lessons were some of the wisest advise I ever received. 

I accepted Dad's wisdom that I had to prove to people by my actions that I cared more about them and their life situation than I did my own. I had to believe it and engrain it into my heart so deeply that caring about people became a natural motivation toward whomever I crossed paths with. If I failed, I would be in the relationship for my personal benefit and I will not be found to be genuine.”

I have lived my life this way since I was a young boy. What matters a great deal to me in my life is that I let others see from my actions that they matter to me as persons rather than how my relationship with them may benefit me. It is about genuinely caring about the individual. 

As a culture we have become quite superficial. I have a friend who is a pastor from Brazil. His name is Eneyas Freitas. He has his Ph.D. and Eneyas is one of the brightest and wisest men that I have ever known. He is also one of the most sincere men that I have ever had the honor to know. When Eneyas arrived in the USA, he said when he was introduced to a person and they would ask him, "How are you doing," he actually thought they really wanted to know so he would begin to tell them how things were going in his day. Eneyas said that usually by the third sentence the person's eyes would glaze over and he knew that they weren't sincere. Eneyas quickly learned that the phrase, "How are you doing" is a form of greeting; the person really didn't care how he was doing. 

Unlike in the US where wealth is measured in dollars, in Brazil as in many third world countries, the number and the quality of relationships determine wealth with other persons. We have lost that quality in our culture.

You don't have to believe me. Go to a park where there are young children and parents then just sit and watch. Does the parent spend more time looking at their cell phone or engaging their children in play? I know the answer to this question in my own life. My granddaughter Grace is the center of my world. She calls me Pup and to me that is the best title I have ever had. When we go to the park or out somewhere, my phone is not on or if it is, the phone is on silent and it is out of reach. I am in the executive search business and as you can imagine it is very time sensitive. In this business a missed call can cost north of $30,000. When I am having Gracie time, she is the focus of my attention and my affection. The call can wait and if I lose the deal then I failed at developing a trusting relationship with the caller. 

Imagine what may happen if we begin to ask people, "How are you doing" and actually mean it? Perhaps if we would put down our cell phones and actually take the time to learn about the person we ask. How about if when we play with our children or grandchildren we actually focus on them rather than email, social networking and sports scores on the phone. Over time, our culture would become less course, at least for those in our world.  

When I am out with people and I ask them about themselves I actually want to know. I want to know about you, your spouse if you have one, how you met, I want to know about your family, what you enjoy doing, what is your vocation and so on. I have built a very successful business by actually caring about the persons I speak with, seeing them as individuals, not potential clients. It may take some time but perhaps we should try once a day asking someone you meet, "How are you doing" and actually want to know. When that person responds with our engrained cultural norm, how about taking it one step further and asking that person, "Really, I want to know how are you doing?" It may take a while to get used to but I will promise you that by asking and meaning it, you will build stronger, richer and more fruitful friendships. Over time these relationships may turn into opportunities to do business, not because you have asked someone for their business but because they trust you, they know that you care about them and they are comfortable that you will do your best to help the person they refer to you. That may or may not lead to new business for you but the law of averages is that if you do this enough it will come back to you in good ways. 

This is the law of sowing and reaping. If you sow into enough lives when the time comes they will in turn sow back into yours. 

At the bottom of every email I send out is the following quote, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value the needs of others ahead of your own.” That is actually a quote from the Bible, found in Philippians 2:3 and it is the foundational principle upon which all of my values are built. It’s how I have lived my life. I always try to put the needs of others ahead of my own. There have been failures but for the most part I have been successful in helping and encouraging the persons that come into my life.  

So, the moral of this story is not just about business but how "The fine rain that soaks" is a new way of life if you want it to be. This proverb that Dad sowed into my heart and mind more than fifty years ago has been a wonderful gift. It has brought me rich friendships and I have had the opportunity to meet and befriend persons from many cultures around the world and from all walks of life. It has enriched me financially but for more important relationally. 

I wrote earlier about how persons in the Third World measure wealth, not by what they have accumulated but rather my how many persons that they love and care for and how many persons love and care for them.

We were that way once and we can be again. It is going to take a commitment on your part to try changing a few things, turn off the cell phone and the TV and talk with your spouse and children. Spend some time during the day without the phone or other distractions just trying to get to know them better. Be "The fine rain that soaks" in the life of someone every day and if you are like me you will be bitten by the bug of human compassion and caring and you will be better for it as will those that dwell in your world. 

Bill van Steenis, President

Prosource Executive Search, Inc.