It's A F*cking Desk! What More Can I Say?

I sold my desk the other day. It was a lovely desk. Timber. Constructed of wood. Purchased on TradeMe in 2018, I sold it last week on that very same platform. That's her there. (above)

Beautiful right? That photo tells you pretty much all you need to know. Well, apart from the dimensions, and those details belong to somebody else now. They are no longer mine to divulge. Sorry.

The reserve price was set at $1.00.

I wasn’t too concerned about turning a profit, so added a "Buy Now” price equal to what I paid 4 years ago. No need to be greedy. I then added a couple of reasonably well-lit photos and got to work on the description.

But what the hell was I meant to write about a desk? Surely that picture tells you everything you need to know.?It’s a bloody desk!! The fact that I was obliged to write a description for a damn desk made me mad. So I wrote a story instead. Out of spite...

"I have no idea what kind of wood this desk is made from, but it feels amazing when I fall asleep on it instead of working.?

It has four functioning drawers. They each have a handle which makes opening and closing them an absolute breeze. I like to keep all sorts of things inside, but it's completely up to you what you use them for. Perfect size for pen and paper and perhaps an eraser (if you write in pencil).

I painted a black, Go-Faster stripe on the side and top. It really improved my productivity which allows me more time for an afternoon nap. There's a lot of room under the desk to stretch your legs if you wish (you don't have to but it's always nice to have the option). In fact, there is probably enough space to keep a small mattress and pillow for when you get bored during the day.

There is a small crack in the surface of the desk, but hey, it's old and beautiful. What do you expect??

I'm only selling it because my boss caught me sleeping on it during a Zoom call and has insisted I use a standup desk from now on. So unfair."

The auction for the desk went live at 11.28am. The desk was sold at 11.41am, 13 minutes later, for the “Buy Now” price. Shortly after, I received this message;

“Hey Matthew, let me know a time that suits to pick up and I’ll swing by for a snooze.”

I’ve sold a number of far more valuable items (in my opinion) for substantially less money on TradeMe and they have never sold that quickly. In fact, they have nearly always gone the distance. Was it the silly, little description I wrote that made the difference? Who knows? But I shall go to my grave believing it was.?

Here is another photo. Of me this time. As soon as I put down my pen, I’m going to upload it to a different marketplace platform - LinkedIn. (Call it "Networking" if you want, but deep down we all know it's a Marketplace). It’s purpose; to compliment the description of past, present and future Matthew.

It’s a very new photo, just 2 weeks old. It was taken somewhere at the back of Countdown Supermarket in Grey Lynn. The original plan was to wear my lovely, new herringbone jacket and a smart shirt, crisp of collar. You know, the "Open for Business" look. But after a long chat with the photographer (the awesome Amanda Billing ) it became abundantly clear that I will always be a denim and flannel kind of guy. It was time to embrace it.

While the blurb we write for a TradeMe listing needs to describe details not obvious in the photo, a LinkedIn profile pic should presumably do the opposite - tell the story that a CV never will. Otherwise, what's the point?