** Monday’s Motivational**IT's NOT FAIR (VOLUME I, ARTICLE XXV )

This Monday’s Motivational is a bit more somber than usual. How many times have you heard someone say, or you said, “It’s not fair.” Maybe you didn’t get the promotion you deserved or didn’t make the team, or perhaps something more inconsequential, like a venue selling out of tickets for your favorite concert.

Last week, the remnants of Hurricane IDA hammered the Metro NY area with rain. There was widespread flooding. The day after the storm, I came across an article in the NY Post about a Connecticut State Trooper who, while on duty, lost his life in a flash flood. The report did not disclose the officer’s name; however, a good friend of mine happens to live in the Town this tragedy occurred in, and he knew the Trooper and his family well. What makes this story even sadder is the Trooper was looking forward to retiring soon, after twenty-six years of dutiful service. NOW, THAT’S NOT FAIR!

This episode brings me back to my first day of college at SUNY Plattsburgh. All the freshmen had to attend a welcoming seminar in which the keynote speaker was, the head of the psychology department. The students and faculty well regarded him, and to this day, he was one of the most dynamic public speakers I have witnessed. He provided a lot of good advice to the incoming class. The story that resonates with me the most is his ending parable. He spoke about how there will be ups and downs throughout college and in life and how adversity is part of growing as a person. He also spent a few minutes on how precious life is and the importance of appreciating each day. He told the story of students often complaining to him about their grades (he was tough) and how they would echo, “This is not fair…” The professor took a long pause and regaled us newbies, with the following story. It went something like this…..

When I was a graduate student, I got to know a World War II veteran. The man would not speak of the great war until one day, I was complaining about all the extra work I had to do, and how it just was not fair. The former soldier told me a story about some guys in his battalion that were captured by the Germans in a significant battle and had to endure years in a POW camp. Many prisoners died from starvation and torture. Several of his buddies, through grit and hope, made it through these grueling years, and shortly before the war ended, the guards left the camp to fight in the last efforts of the defense. The men left the prison gates and started to make the arduous journey towards freedom. While they were only a few miles from their destination, an allied plane mistaken the men as the enemy and fired on them. Only one man survived to make it home.

Another long pause …. NOW, THAT’S NOT FAIR! I remember looking around the auditorium and all my classmates staring in awe at what they just heard.

These stories are not meant to trivialize anyone’s dilemmas or pain in life. We all have our struggles. Viktor Frankl, an?Austrian psychiatrist, author, and Holocaust survivor, writes extensively about dealing with adversity in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, which is widely considered one of the most influential books ever written (Library of Congress). To summarize, no matter what the circumstances are, humans always have the power…the freedom to choose how we react to any situation. Frankl pulls from his awful experiences surviving a Nazi concentration camp where he lost every member of his family. The guards controlled every aspect of his life, and each day he woke not knowing if he would live or die. In this dire predicament, the one thing that he had power over was his attitude. He made it through each day by never giving his imprisoners the satisfaction that they were getting to him.

He had every right to complain, protest, play the victim due to the atrocities he suffered; but instead, he used his tribulations to help and lift millions of people throughout his life.