It’s enough to break your heart
As families are torn apart; hearts and minds heavy with the pain of caring for elderly loved ones, the oppressed; and all who require special care question; what has happened to our ‘society’ once willing and able to care for their own?
How could it all have gone so wrong as we see the changing face of this type of care?
What will a Royal Commission into aged/health care really be able to achieve?
How can we turn back the clock to give humane care, once the role of family and friends, now replaced by strangers and a system that is broken in a million pieces; and getting worse, not better?
During a recent trip back to Melbourne I caught up with an old friend who regularly reads my weekly articles.
His story about what happened to his parents will make you weep; along with many who have had their hearts broken with what has become a lesser ‘society’. A world in which ‘human care’ is now a ‘business’.
Big business whereby families are forced to sell the family home, often with little warning to afford care for their loved ones; not just the elderly, but the young and all who need special care.
My friend’s story just confirmed the heartless nature of it all.
When it came time to make this strategic change and place his mum and dad into an aged care facility; carefully chosen so they could continue to live together, Bob, (not his real name) did all he could.
An only child who also ran a successful business, he chose to put parents before his business interests for as long as was possible under our current ‘broken’ care system.
Then came the call. “Your parents have absconded.
“We have no idea where they are”.
But Bob instinctively knew where to find them. They had journeyed back home with keys in hand; hiding out together, overcome with fear of what would happen to them should they be caught.
How heartbreaking for Bob who then had to make the call to the appropriate authorities to have them re institutionalised.
How distressing it was to hear him tell this story knowing that they were being forced back against their will. Two elderly souls still cognitively capable of making the escape…and being able to reach the ‘home’ that was no longer ‘their’ home.
It bought back the memory I have never been able to shake from my mind.
My grandma, who had broken her hip was recuperating in a rest home. A dear soul who I had shared a room with all my living years until my marriage. She spoke little English, a factor which may have caused communication issues with her carers.
But nothing will erase the memory of the carer caught placing a pillow over my grandma’s face as she struggled to breathe…and but for the grace of God, my auntie, her daughter managed to save.
A Dominican nun, my auntie, now in her early 90’s hates being in what we believe to be a good care home; distraught at having lost what was ‘her’ home who now needs special care having also broken her hip and requiring care for both physical and mental impairment.
Some memories don’t die and I imagine she would still have that horrendous picture imbedded in her mind of the ‘nurse’ trying to suffocate her mum, my grandma.
I have a great deal of difficulty understanding such behaviour, though I do know how exasperating and challenging being a nurse/carer can be – which is why big changes are required for a new world of more suitable carers with specialist training.
Plus, more choices that enable those who wish to care for their own given preference over ‘business based’ care and the funding to assist this option.
The many billions being made by professionals/businesses in this sphere is not my ideal idea of preferential care.
As my friend, Russell Sturgeon explained to me when I first set out on this mission to set up suitable mental health care facilities; Holistic Integrative Sanctuaries; his response was…“I run a two-day workshop called the Aware Health Professional.
“My typical attendee includes doctors, nurses and allied and complementary health professionals. People generally attend this workshop because they are dealing with either burnout, compassion fatigue or depression.
“As a part of our program, participants are invited to participate in the Maslach Burnout Inventory.
“In every situation, doctors have failed the test with quite high scores. Nurses typically range around 50% and complementary health professional at about 20%.
“There is a lot of research to show that there are statistically serious medical and financial consequences due to the levels of burnout experienced by medical professionals. The cost to the medical system in England is in the billions of dollars”.
Which is why we need to review the entire process of special care in a new world that requires a return to ‘real care’ in which big businesses are not the ones to benefit at the detriment of the individual.
Families working together with families and being supported by a holistic system with enough direct funding to care for their own, if they so choose…and not businesses profiting at the expense of those in need of special care.
I send out this message in the hope that we will find our way back from being ‘a business’ to a more humane ‘society’ we once were.
It’s time to turn back the clock on ‘human capital’!
Yvonne Nicolas
Author
Making Sense of Life Before We L’Eve...Those Were The Days
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ABOUT THE SANCTUARIES
"We do hope to be able to raise enough funds from the proceeds of my book and associated funds to create Holistic, Integrative Sanctuaries for people experiencing mind imbalances, where they can rest and recoup in safe, loving hands with appropriate support. We are not talking about new buildings, but using the ones we have scattered in cities, rural and beach-based locations, and creating a plan for those who can’t afford, to be funded by those who can. Having spoken with various parties, it is possible and probable in relatively easy terms if we use the ‘it takes a village’ approach...your support is vital!"
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