It's a Dot-Com World!

This is one of two funny stories that I wrote for Hallmark in their "Laughing Out Loud" gift book.

It’s a Dot-Com World!

In the old days if you had an errand to run, you had to jump into your car, fight the traffic, and put up with the kids bouncing around the backseat.? You would arrive at your destination all frazzled, stressed, and a bundle of nerves.

But things have changed, my friend.? You no longer have to leave the safety and comfort of your home to tackle the things on your “to do” list.? You may already be a savvy cyber-surfer, but if you have not ventured into the World Wide Web, hang onto your hat.? We are going to give you a whirlwind tour!

By now you have probably seen those Pricelinedotcom commercials on television, starring William Shatner (aka Captain Kirk from Star Trek), where he talks about the benefits of shopping for a hotel room online.? “Name your own price for a luxury hotel room, and save, save, save!” he exclaims.

But it is not just hotel rooms where you can save big bucks on the Internet these days.? You can save money on airline tickets, fruit baskets, belly button lint brushes, and just about everything else under the sun.? Not to be outdone, the medical community is rumored to be setting up its own version of Pricelinedotcom.

Here are just a few of the net Internet sites that will soon be launched early next year:

• Surgeryathomedotcom – The next time you need an operation, just point and click your way to this brand new Website.? Here you will find everything you need to perform routine minor surgery in the comfort and security of your own living room!? Enter your credit card information and the Fed Ex delivery driver will be knocking on your door within 24 hours, delivering your surgery-at-home kit.? (Anesthesia sold separately!)
• WillmyHMOpaythisclaimdotcom – If you have ever been stressed beyond your limit trying to get medical claims by your local HMO, this new website is just what you need.? Dozens of highly trained professionals are standing by to take your call.? Just log onto the website and enter your health insurance information.? Within 60 seconds you will get a personal telephone call with a polite “no way” to your inquiry!? No muss, no fuss, and no waiting!
• Taketwoaspirinandcallmeinthemorningdotcom – If you have always dreamed of a career as a high priced physician, this new Website will, in the words of Clint Eastwood, “make your day!”? For a mere $99.95 (tax not included), you can order your own Medical License from a third world country with no vowels in its name.? Not only will you get a very nice diploma, suitable for framing (frames sold separately, starting at $19.95), but also included (at no extra charge!) is a handy-dandy little black bag to carry around with you.? Twelve years of non-stop medical school training and hands-on experience…who needs it?? And you can also forget about spending hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical school tuition fees.? This is truly one-stop shopping at its finest!? One day you’re an average Joe or Jane, and the next, you’re opening your own medical practice!? Respond this week and you’ll also receive a FREE book with your purchase: Bad Penmanship Tips for New Doctors!??

We hope this information has been very helpful for you.? Visit us next week for some types on cyber-law: from Janitor to Judge in One Easy Keystroke!

And for tips on how to make $$ as a freelance writer, head over to Amazon and look for "The Flying Nun, A Light Bulb Moment and Me: 40 Years Making Money As a Freelance Writer (Hey, You Can Do It, Too!)" (It's a real book!)