It’s about connection, not conversion

Several months ago I wrote Networking For the Apocalypse.  It was in response to what I saw developing on social media and where I think the market is headed.  After that I began on a quest to meet as many folks as I could in 2018. I would have no agenda and my only criterion was that you weren’t weird and you were open to networking.  I called it a networking tare, I was intent on changing what I saw as a pattern of too much reliance on technology and not enough focus on what actually makes human relationships work.

As I began approaching folks I was pleased to experience the joy and blessing of simple connection.  I have had the pleasure of both phone and in person interaction with hundreds of wonderful people since January 1, 2018.  I have heard dozens of business proposals, learned harrowing tales of achievement and even drank a few too many!

Obviously not everyone took me up on the invitation (strange really LOL), but that is life, isn’t it?  Not everything we do hits the mark and some folks just aren’t ready for a guy like me to waltz into their lives just yet…..YET!  

I have made many new friends and, yes, I did a little business , but most importantly I reinforced my belief in the value of getting together.  The value of real connection.

We are social creatures.  We must reduce our reliance on digital interfaces and increase physical human interaction.  Social media is efficient and has its place, but true connections come with the ticking of time, not the clicking of mice.  We must take the time necessary to build and develop trust in our networks, whether they be on LinkedIn or facebook or through BNI and Kiwanis.  

I welcome the new tools, but they are there to enhance the old ones…..NOT REPLACE THEM!

Please don’t misunderstand…….I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!!  I love how easy most mundane tasks have become and I welcome further advances to free up my creative mind from the repetition of activities better left to a machine or algorithm.  

It never ceases to amaze me the ease with which I can speak with my friends in India, Taiwan or Australia in the same way as I do my next door neighbor……..but is it really the same?  Can we convey facts and knowledge, ideas and instructions? Most certainly……..but isn’t there something missing?

Those who are students of success thinking are familiar with the concept of vibrations and how they impact thoughts, emotions and attitudes.  These are the unspoken tools of connection. These cannot yet be conveyed via technology. So too are gestures and facial expressions, but those can mostly be expressed via video……..but something is missing isn’t it?

I submit that as much as 75% of all nonverbal communication is lost when we use technology instead of personal interaction.  Ever walk away from a person and felt like your impression was determined by something you just couldn’t put your finger on? Likely this was the result of non-verbal cues.  A gesture, grimace or the very movement of their soul with yours caused you to decide if you go on a second date, hire the candidate or buy the widget.

When we are trying to make connections in life, I think, it all boils down to these unquantifiable metrics.  We want to make the sale, but we are too focused on our pitch and not enough on the fact that we are trying to sell cat food to a dog.

I remember one gentleman, who shall remain nameless, was hesitant that I hadn’t an agenda for my proposed meeting.  

“Please send information.”  He insisted.

“Information?” I typed, “Information on what exactly?”

“On what you would like to meet about.”

“I honestly do not have an agenda, I will be in the area and am looking to network with folks who are open and have time.”

Now, this guy was not born yesterday, so this was not gonna cut it. LOL

“I read your profile, you have been in sales for a long time.  You must have something you want to discuss.”

Impressed, I replied, “You are right, I have been in sales a long time and I absolutely have many things to sell to many people.  But, I don’t even know you, so I would not presume to try and sell you anything.”

One of the challenges in the market today is that traditional media is on it’s last leg.  Another 5-10yrs and it will be a side angle of your marketing strategy. The main reason for its death is not only the democratization of information, but the consumer can literally block out any input they don’t like.  They’re not listening. Naturally marketers are freaking out.

Unfortunately they are now taking to social media with the same impersonal strategies that use to work to the tune of less than 10%. Mass media is dead and it’s tool box can’t be uploaded.  But, that doesn’t stop them from trying. My favorite is accepting a random connection and they immediately come at you with both barrels:

“Our agency rocks!”

“Listen to my podcast”

“Join my business opportunity!”

“I make great websites!”

Let’s be honest, these folks are in desperate need of How To Win Friends…..  The age of social media has completed the transformation of the consumer from king to emperor.  They are in charge and you are not and they can’t be sold…….BUT THEY LOVE TO BUY!!!

The question then is how do we make them buy?  Aha! I’m glad you asked! Stop trying to convert them and learn to connect with them!  The new age of marketing is more about relationships, community and causes than metrics, data points and adwords.

It is wonderful that we can begin great relationships with amazing people in far off lands.  But, if we are to truly make an impact in this world we need to be willing to take the time to cross the street for coffee with a stranger…….sometimes that can turn into your best friend or your biggest sale.