It’s Better to be Respected than Liked

Remember what it was like being picked last on the playground??

Maybe you were fortunate that you were one of those kids always picked first. But for those of us, who waited anxiously to be chosen, this was a lesson in being liked that didn’t always feel so good.?

I was often picked last, and it wasn’t because they saved the best for last, if you know what I mean.?

When we are younger, we place a high value on being liked. As human beings, we crave that attention to know we are liked because it’s tied to how we believe we are validated as kids growing up.?

As we get older, we don’t lose the desire to be liked, but we also know it isn’t everything.?

We get more comfortable knowing not everyone is going to like us.?

As we move into various leadership roles, we learn that being liked isn’t as valuable as being respected. Here are three tips to help you build a more respectful relationship with your boss and direct reports.?

1.?????Pause Before Reacting

It’s easy to quickly react to situations as they arise, but responding too hastily can have disastrous results. Leaders gain respect when they take time to assess situations from all perspectives to help inform their plans before executing them. When you take time to pause before reacting, people will get to know you as someone who appreciates and values informed decisions rather than rash judgments.?

2.?????Practice Empathy Over Popularity

Being empathetic is your opportunity to see and hear your team members and direct reports. When you show empathy, it doesn’t mean you are soft or a pushover. While there have been great strides in empathetic leadership, it’s essential to acknowledge that many heart-centered leaders struggle when their organization’s culture doesn’t support empathetic behavior. Being empathetic is a way for you to build rapport and trust. It will take time, but it will reap more rewards than a quick checkmark in the “likeability” box.?

3.?????Adopt a Learner’s Mindset

When I disagreed with a former supervisor, their boss acknowledged my situation and shared this with me. In what was some of the best advice I’ve ever received, he told me, “You will learn from him when you are open to learning from him.” We have our professional journey to travel. Disagreements and disappointments will happen. However, when we acknowledge that there is always something to learn, no matter who it is, we become better leaders and professionals.????

Remember, how we SHOW UP matters.

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This Week on The Mid-Career GPS Podcast

Episode 91 – So, You Don’t Like Your Boss

Let’s be honest.?

You’ve said it – and for most of you, probably more than once - that you don’t like your boss.?

You don’t like your boss. It frustrates you that you HAVE to work for them. You believe they are blocking your career, and you don’t like going to work every day. You wish you worked for someone else, or you wish you just worked somewhere else – and could move on so you never have to work with this horrible person again.?

Every time they open their mouth, you want to cringe. You loathe opening an email from them. They don’t care about people. You find them to be cold-hearted and insensitive. You wish they would leave, or you would go first.?

To be clear, any boss or person, for that matter, who is harassing, bullying, or discriminating against any of their employees should not be tolerated and immediately reported. If that is the case, you have every reason to hate them, but that is not the topic of this episode.??

Not liking your boss is a normal part of your career journey. You will have an opportunity to work for many people, and it’s only natural that you will like some of them, and not like others. But if you feel as if your boss doesn’t like you, won’t promote you, or is always shutting you down, you need to listen to today’s episode. I’m going to share a few tips and tricks to help you navigate these tumultuous or contentious relationships with your boss or supervisor so you can SHOW UP at your best and never let them beat you down again.?

Click here to listen to “So, You Don’t Like Your Boss”?or find “The Mid-Career GPS Podcast” on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform.

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Professional Development Doesn’t Have to Be Boring!

This week, I posted how I used to work as a professional development specialist.

I always enjoyed being in a room full of eager and ambitious professionals looking to learn something they found worthwhile to take back to their classrooms and impact their students.?

For me, professional development is an experience.?

It’s an opportunity to learn from someone who will share something that will help my career.?

With companies scaling back their professional development efforts, it’s more important than ever for you to take control of your growth and development and accelerate your career in the ways you see best.?

I want to offer that your professional development doesn’t need to be tedious, laborious, or lackluster. Join me today at 12:00 pm EST for my webinar called?10 Things to Do for Your Professional Development. And if you can’t attend live, no worries. Register anyway, and I’ll make sure you get the replay later today.?Click this link to register.?????