It's Not the Battery's Fault

When I was 8 years old, my father went into a deep depression after several severe business setbacks.?He sought help and was gone for six months, where they put him through shock therapy.

When he came back it felt like my “old dad”, the one I remembered as fun, and playful, always there for me, had left. Tears in my eyes, I asked my mom, where is my dad? I see him but he seems gone.

I found myself as I grew older feeling frustrated, and anger coming out of nowhere.

I’m remembering this right now because I find some of my clients dealing with frustration with how quickly they can go to a place of anger. They say: I don’t know why this is happening or how to fix it, why can’t I figure this out?

I remember my deep frustration and pain from the many times I felt like I was swimming in a whirlpool of anger, that was controlling me. I did not know how to get out: until the day I tried to replace our car battery.

After I had spent an hour trying to get the “stupid battery” into the battery holder while struggling to suppress the eruption of anger and wanting to throw the battery as far as I could, it miraculously slipped into place!

When it did a deep sense of relief and pride surged through me because I had not thrown the “stupid battery”, this thing that had been the cause of an hour of my frustration and anger!!

“What is triggering your anger is a memory or story stored in your brain that gets triggered and when it does it’s like a bottle of soda that starts shaking.

Some people release the anger in the bottle by erupting, others try to deal with it by suppressing it, which can over time lead to suicidal tendencies.”He said, “You need to find the story that’s shaking your bottle and triggering the anger, and then find the value in the story, and over time the shaking of the bottle will diminish and so will your anger.

In reflection it finally came to me, my “soda pop” story was about my “old dad” not coming back. I chose to see my dad in a different light. He struggled with anxiety and depression most of his life, but he had a huge positive impact on many people, including myself.

He was right. In the past seven years, I have only had one issue with anger. What a blessing!

Trying to suppress anger is not a long-term solution to peace and calm.

If you are seeking to move on from the frustration of repeated, uncontrolled emotions let’s talk.