It’s Not Always Happily Ever After

CEO of Storybrand and renowned American author, Donald Miller, said – When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.

We keep searching for a perfect partner to get into a relationship; however, we don’t realize that the definition of our perfection is based on our knowledge, exposure, and experience. Furthermore, at different stages in life, the idea of perfection changes. So then, how can we believe that what we have found is perfect?

It’s because we don’t really like getting into a relationship or falling in love but the ‘idea’ of it!

A relationship is not just about love; it’s about efforts. Being in a relationship is not the end; it’s the beginning!

Relationships have been associated with compatibility by most of us. Being compatible means being capable of existing together in harmony (peacefully). But, do we always feel peaceful within ourselves, or do we always agree with our thoughts/actions/decisions? The answer is NO. Still, we make efforts and remove all the gaps, negativity, uncertainty, and noise from our heads and start over because that’s our relationship with ourselves.

So, if not compatibility, what defines our relationships with others? Our relationship with “ourselves” defines our relationship with others. During my life coaching and corporate journey, I have met multiple personalities having different takes on relationships. However, most of them have learned the basics about the relationship once they got into it; hence, I am sharing their thoughts along with mine on things you should know before you get into a relationship.

Understand Yourself

To not lose yourself in a relationship, you need to understand yourself first. By being self-aware and mindful about your thoughts, decisions, and choices, you can avoid the risk of feeling lost. Ask yourself before you get into a relationship – What are your non-negotiables (things you cannot tolerate or compromise with at any cost), your boundaries, the needs, and how do you see a healthy relationship.

Drop the baggage

Dropping your baggage is about your past experiences, especially the bad ones. Drop them before you get into a relationship. We all need healing from the past, and it takes time; however, being aware or mindful about that prevents the damage it can cause to your relationship. When we carry our past experiences with us, we keep comparing the current ones with the previous ones.

Be who you are! Don’t pretend

Staying true to yourself is essential for you and your partner to know each other better. It's not necessary that you need to like the same things as your partner does; however, pretending to like it can damage the relationship in the long run. Staying in a relationship does not demand that you have to lose your individuality. Be yourself, unapologetically!

Respect is more important than love

Respect is a conscious emotion, and love is a state of mind, that too unconscious one! One cannot sustain any relationship without respect, and respecting yourself is as important as respecting others. Hence, do not hesitate to demand respect and make it your non-negotiable in a relationship.

Life is not a movie, and it’s not always happily ever after

Though movies have taught us about love or romance since childhood, the relationship is much more than that. Making your relationship grow is work, and be in one if you are ready or willing to work on it. Relationships usually suffer because we stop putting in the same efforts to keep them as we did to start them.

“A relationship is like a house. When a light switch does not work, you do not buy a new house. You fix the light switch.” - Unknown

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