It’s All Her Fault: Letting Go of the Blame Game for a More Empowered Life
Dr. Veronica Anderson Dedegbe, MD
CEO Peer Group Chair, Vistage | Executive Coach | Author | Intuitive Intelligence for CEOs: Precision Leadership Through the Science of Instinct & the Art of Intuition| Kolbe-Certified Consultant | Human Design Coach
At times, you may go through challenging experiences in life. You may find yourself wondering how you ended up in a certain place, physically or emotionally. At these times, confronting your own choices can feel challenging. You may find it easier to see where others were wrong.
Blaming others for the way your life is going is a common reaction to life’s curve balls. After all, when you point the finger at others, you’re initially soothed by the idea that you haven’t made any mistakes in the situation.
But eventually, you’re left with just yourself, and blaming others takes away your sense of your own power. You can’t change other peoples’ actions – only your own. So you must figure out how to pick up and go on with life. The best way to do this is to cease blaming others and resolve the situation within yourself.
Consider these ideas to stop blaming others and regain your own power:
1. Take complete responsibility for your own life. Whether you’re married, single, have kids or are childless, acknowledge that only you decide how your life is going to manifest. It’s all about you.
* Although it may once have been someone else’s fault (your mother, father, boss, or partner), now that you know what the issues are, it’s your responsibility to fix them. Your life is the way it is because of you. Take ownership.
* From here on, consider it a cop-out when you blame someone else for the choices you make.
* Admittedly, this is bad news and good news at the same time. After all, if you want your life to change and you believe you’re responsible for it, this means that you hold all the power you need to make your life just the way you want. This also means you have no one else to blame but yourself.
2. Learn from the past. Consider a couple of specific incidents when you blamed another person for your choices. How did those situations turn out in the end? Did you lose a friend? Is a family member estranged from you? Rarely does anything positive come from blaming another person for your own situation.
3. Say you’re sorry. If you tell another person that something that happened in your life is their fault, apologize for the comments as soon as you’re aware that you made them. This step is important because one of the major ways to cease blaming others is to acknowledge and say you’re sorry when you point the finger at them.
* In order to change what you’re doing, you must recognize your mistakes.
4. Think before you blame. If you catch yourself blaming someone else for a situation in your life, ponder that situation thoroughly before saying anything aloud. Ask yourself what really happened. Who did what? What was your own part in this? How did you react? What were your options? How could you respond in the future to change the outcome?
* Give yourself plenty of time to process a situation. This way, you won’t be compelled to say something rash out of frustration.
5. Seek professional guidance. There’s no shame in asking for help if you can’t seem to shake the blame game. If you find yourself caught in a vicious, unproductive cycle of pointing the finger at others for your own life situation, obtain counseling to help you find your way out.
When you leave the blame game behind, your life becomes totally your own. All the power you need is in your own hands. The sky’s the limit when you stop blaming others and empower yourself to take your life back!
Want me to write on a specific topic or have a question you’d like answered? Simply message me here on LinkedIn. I’m all ears!PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you get?what you want in your career and relationships
1. Read the Dr.Veronica.com blog.
I post different strategies and tips to help you achieve success every day in your health, money, relationships, life purpose, and mindset
2. Have your Human Design done.
The framework for how you can approach your career and relationships to more easily get what you want is laid out in your unique spiritual DNA. Learn through my free video lessons what action steps you can immediately take to begin getting better results in your job and when interacting with people, including romantic partners, family, friends, and work colleagues. Click here to get started
3. Join our?Ultimate Guide to Attracting Your Soulmate Masterclass and be a Case Study.
I'm putting together a relationship case study group this month... stay tuned for details. If you'd like to work with me and finally discover how to find the right person even if it seems like you keep picking the wrong one,?message me with the word “Soulmate” in the opening line.
4. Work with me one-on-one.
I’ve helped many of my private clients “stop getting in their own way,” so they could create the relationship and career that they want—without struggle, without grueling hard work, and without waiting years and years for it to happen. Would you like to know how to do this for yourself??
Find a time on the calendar that works for you for a 10-minute Meet and Greet Chat to share what is going on. This is completely free and there is nothing for sale on this call. Click here.
Bio
Intuitive Relationship Guide?and Coach??Dr. Veronica Anderson?is the bestselling author of 4 books including?“Get the Respect You Deserve: 7 Secrets to Getting Seen and Heard in Your Job and Relationships.”?Dr. Veronica transitioned from her own private practice as an Eye Surgeon to a Spiritual Guide &?Transformational Coach delivering individual and group programs to help her clients overcome strange, rare and peculiar issues.?Using her skills as intuitive and her signature R.E.S.P.E.C.T Method, Dr. Veronica?guides high-achieving professional women how to make successful career, health and relationship transitions by learning the process to be their true self and be appreciated for that.
Dr. Veronica Anderson began her medical career as an Eye Surgeon?after graduating from Princeton University and Rutgers Medical School (with honors) and now has the distinction of being both a licensed physician and a practicing psychic. Dr. Veronica?is an Integrative Medicine Physician, certified in Functional Medicine and trained in homeopathy.?
In her programs, Dr. Veronica uses her gifts and talents to help people with strange, rare, and peculiar issues who feel like they just haven’t gotten answers or results from?strategies they have tried previously
Dr. Veronica hosted her on podcast and AM radio show for several years and has appeared in national television as well as multiple syndicated radio shows and podcasts. She is?a 3rd Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do who splits her time living?in Bucks County, PA and?Harlem, New York City with her husband and two dogs, Artemis and Apollo.