The Issues Surrounding Marriage and Factors Causing Divorce

Marriage as an Achievement According to Paradise Qalam (PQ)

Marriage to the author, Paradise Qalam (PQ) is an achievement when the individuals involved are compatible and have set their differences to the side as it is known that no one is perfect. When talking about these aforementioned things, what to be looked at are needs, wants, likes, dislikes, and red flags.?

Dating According to the Islamic Perspective?

Islam despises dating which is considered to be zina (fornication) and Q17 (Al Isra: The Night Journey):32 states that La taqrabu zina which means Do not go near adultery, but an article titled How Young Muslims Define ‘Halal Dating’ For Themselves authored by Neha Rashid mentioned that “Ismail Menk, a renowned Islamic scholar, argues in one of his lectures that love, within boundaries and with expectations of marriage, is an accepted fact of life and religion — if done the right way. This "right way," he says, is by involving the families from an early stage” (Rashid, 2017).?

Dating in Society and The Downsides

Society has made individuals believe that one must date his/her intending partner to know his/her likes and dislikes in order to be aware of the red flags that might occur which would lead the other individual to juxtapose his/her needs to the wants. PQ included this section because one’s needs and wants are important in choosing a life partner. Needs are those qualities you must see in other individuals while wants are attributes that are wonderful for individuals to have, but not necessary. Some people need their lifetime partners to have some characteristics that are funny to hear which they don’t have themselves. This is why divorce between couples is rampant and the reason that we hear couples go their separate ways over trivial issues. Paradise Qalam is not encouraging dating but all she is trying to pass across her readers is that knowing an intending spouse is vital before getting married so as to know who one is dealing with and if one can cope with him/her. Dating too has its own downsides, which an article titled Is Dating Allowed in Islam written by Meena Malik concurred to when she stated that “The turmoil caused by dating (emotional harm, financial problems, family issues, etc.) are all due to an unclear framework for the relationship as well as a nebulous and changing level of commitment between the individuals, which is often not discussed or even acknowledged. Dating, whether casually or seriously, involves more risk for a person. But what about a couple who seriously dates and then ends up married? Dating is a common way people get to know their partner well enough before committing to marriage, right? Divorce rates are still higher than 50% for couples who have dated before marriage and get to know each other in every possible way” (Malik, n.d).?

Fathers Role as Guardians for their Daughter(s) and How It Affects Marriages

This is why one of the key responsibility of the father is being the Waliyy (a guardian) to his child/children, and this starts from finding a good husband for his daughter(s) or investigating the supposed son(s)-in-law and his/their family(ies) thoroughly in order to ascertain his daughter(s) are in safe and good hands. A lady who marries into a awful family or has mean in-laws, especially the females has put herself in a pit because when she has a quarrel with her husband or is in the verge of being divorced by him or vice versa, she would not get any support from her in-laws, they would even be happy that she is leaving. The major reason why these female in-laws hate their wives is because they already have whom they want as a daughter/sister-in-law which the man doesn’t like and want to have as a wife. Some men do not even think for themselves because they are mommy’s boys, and whatever mommy says goes. Most men always need their wives to obey their families when they are being mean to their in-laws. Is that not an ironic situation?

Islamic Point of View on the Interference of Female-in-laws in Marriages, especially their Attitudes Towards the Wives

According to an article titled What Islam says about the interference of In-Laws in girls life posted on Nikkah explorer frowns against in-laws being wicked and mean to their wives, as this is very common. It mentioned that “Islam has not put any obligation on a girl to take care of her in-laws because it is the duty of a man to take care of his parents rather than putting his own responsibilities over his wife” (Nikkahexplorer, 2022). Furthermore, it stated that “Such in-laws should be very well aware of the difference between misbehaving and talking for their own rights. Islam has always encouraged people to take stand for the right and to condemn the wrong” (Nikkahexplorer, 2022). Additionally, it mentioned that “Allah has not even allowed anyone including in-laws to enter in others’ rooms with the permission of rooms’ owners.?

Allah has clearly stated this in Q24 (An Noor: The Light):27 that “O you who believe! Enter no houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them; that is better for you, in order that you may remember” (Nikkahexplorer, 2022).?

The Rate at which Divorce Has Become a Normal Thing

The rate at which divorce/Talaq is becoming a norm is due to the misplaced priorities of the couple, and this is because some men expect their wives to have the upper and/or lower parts of the bodies when they should be looking at 1. Intelligence which would be needed to enlighten the children religiously and westernly. Fathers are rarely home because they either have gone to find the daily bread and/or have gone to where the fun is leaving the mothers to educate the children as they are the ones that are at home with them. Additionally, she would be able to understand that Allah Azzawajal permits a man to marry up to four wives if that is in his destiny (Qadar) rather than waging war on her husband and co-wives 2. Mannerisms which would earn them respect from family and friends. Some women are beautiful outside, but ugly inside. This means that some women have alluring faces but their behaviors towards others is nothing to write home about and 3. Domestic engagement which would make the women take care of their husbands’ homes and cater for the children so they do not get sick because she has to cook and clean up after them. For the majority of women, all they care about is materialistic things (cars, money, houses), rather than looking at a. Love which would make Mr. to look over all she does that he hates, and call her to the right path in a way that would not look like him being mean as well as fight for her when it comes to his family if they become harsh and unfair to her. Secondly, if he becomes polygamous, he would be able to be fair and just like Allah Azzawajal said b. Support which would make him encourage her in all aspects of her life and c. Care which would allow him to love her children wonderfully and beautifully.?