Issue 5 | Calling on the Masculine to Rise and Meet the Feminine
Manuela Kytir
Enabler Facilitator Coach | Conscious Leadership | Background in Digital Product Development & Advertising | Redefining What it Means to Be a Human Being | Co-Creating a World that Works
Who am I??
What if I told you that who you are, on a fundamental level, is love??
And if that was true, could it explain why we feel uncomfortable having denser emotions such as anger, fear or grief, and why we feel good having lighter emotions such as joy, excitement or contentment? In other words, lighter frequencies which are closer to the vibration of love are more in alignment with who we are, whereas denser emotions which are further away from the vibration of love are less aligned to who we are. Could it be that our inner compass on what feels “good” vs what feels “bad” is actually guiding us back to who we are??
David R. Hawkins found a way to measure the frequencies of emotions and put them on a scale between 0 and 1000, with shame being on the low end and enlightenment on the high end.
Some may look at this chart and subsequently aspire to feel love and bliss all the time. My perspective on this is that we should never avoid nor ignore any emotion.?
That would be impossible and amounts to ‘spiritual bypassing’ (= trying to reach enlightenment by avoiding denser emotions, hurt or experiences)! And is quite possibly not the intention of our human experience.?
But rather that the path to authenticity is a journey that leads through emotions and requires vulnerability (= the capacity and willingness to experience our wounds).?
Our path to authenticity is a journey of healing, which is to bring our frequency into alignment with who we really are, that is, an expression of love.??
Who we are NOT is our emotions. Having an emotion of anger, being angry, does not define who we are. Having an emotion of fear, being fearful, does not define who we are. Even having an emotion of bliss, being peaceful or content, does NOT define who we are. Though being peaceful is more aligned with who we are than being fearful.?
So, perhaps a good question would be:
Who am I in the face of my emotions?
Who am I being??
As a society, we seem to be very focused on what we are DOING and it appears to me that we predominantly drive change through changing what we do.?
For example, a typical LinkedIn post would encourage us to become a better leader by listening and empathising more. This describes something to do, or do more of.?
But how useful is it to listen more when who you are being is concerned (with what’s in it for you) or being judgemental??
Unless you change who you are being as you do the listening, your listening hasn’t changed. You cannot actively listen on top of being judgemental.?
It would be much easier to change (or transform) who you are being to, say, being curious. As you are being curious, your listening naturally and easily changes. Can you feel the difference??
My personal experience is that trying to do and do and do, and then try to do something different, and then something else again, is exhausting, is it not??
Though when we start with who we are being, and are able to change or even transform who we are being, then the doing comes naturally and with ease.?
And often, a different way of being will naturally pull us into taking a different action. No need to push.?
"I am too much"
What if it’s hard for me to change who I am being??
The reason why you may not be able to naturally and easily change into a different way of being is because there is something in the way (remember the dam metaphor I used in my last newsletter).?
I recently connected with feeling “too much” and I hope that, by sharing my personal story, it will elaborate my standpoint on authenticity and at the same time normalise the emotional release of trauma (with a small ‘t’).?
First, let me ask you: How does it make you feel when you hear “Have you tried ...”, “Why don’t you … “, “If I was you I would …“? Isn’t it true that many people are all too quick to offer advice, tips and suggestions without being asked. When someone openly shares what’s going on for them, many immediately jump to “help fix the problem”.?
Well, I noticed a little while ago I was getting particularly triggered by such “unsolicited advice”. It felt disempowering and patronising at best, and at worst as if there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what to do but that I was dealing with something, deep down inside of me, that started to bubble up to the surface.?
At first, I was dealing with self-doubt, confusion and anxiety which came as part of, what felt like, a massive identity shift outside my usual paradigm and understanding. As I was sharing where I was at, the other person picked up "on my negative energy" (their words) and felt they had to "defend" themselves from it (also their words).
A very honest, authentic conversation and some reflections later, I understood what was really going on.
Which is that often times people cannot hold us in our big emotions for various reasons. ?
The fact that the other person could not "be" with my emotions triggered a sense of "I am too much".
Later that day, I remembered being "too much" in my early childhood suffering from asthma and being particularly "needy" as a result.
Most kids who are "too much" for their parents learn to become "less". In my case, I learned to suppress big emotions and needs and instead became self-sufficient and independent.?
Being self-sufficient and independent was part of my identity for many years.
Who I am IS NOT my identity.??
Fortunately, we are adults now. When others cannot (or don’t want to) hold space for our emotions, we can hold ourselves and allow full expression of whatever emotions want to come to the surface and pass through us (in our own time and private space).
You see, past experiences that have left us incomplete or out of alignment with who we are have the need to be seen and acknowledged. Equally our body has the need to express whatever emotion it couldn’t fully express at the time the incidence occurred. This way the energy can pass through us rather than get stuck within our bodies and mind (and potentially manifest as aches or illnesses).?
And so that night, this old wound from my childhood finally made it all the way to the surface and I was prepared to feel through and release it. Problem was, the emotion felt overwhelming and stuck. It felt too big to handle even for myself.
Calling on the Masculine to Rise and Meet the Feminine
I know that reliving past emotions is overwhelming to many. Allow me to add an energetic perspective that I have found both powerful and effective in the hope it will serve you, too. ?
As you may already know, masculine energy is often associated with form and protection whilst feminine energy expresses itself through the body and emotions. Therefore, it is said that our inner masculine would hold (space for) our inner feminine.?
From this perspective, my emotions seemed too big for my inner masculine to hold.
And so, I tried what I had recently learned. I called on my masculine to rise and meet the feminine! literally out loud. This powerful mantra and visualisation then triggered an energetic shift in me enabling an emotional release with ease.
I was able to take the perspective of the observer whilst going full in on feeling all of the emotions of my younger self, who had been absolutely frightened to death during another asthma attack, now with my masculine adult self adding a sense of safety and support.
Try it ??
I offer 1:1 coaching to those ready to go deeper.
As always, I would love to hear from you. Let me know if you found this newsletter valuable. All feedback welcome!
BIG HUG
Manuela