Issue #5 - Building up your Average

Last week my wife had to travel… which (shout out to the spouses and significant others) meant that Dad and Son had to fend for ourselves. After making a reasonable attempt at constructing a mustard turkey sandwich with no cheese for lunch and fussing with a semi-nutritious breakfast, my son and I ended up on a topic with him questioning why it was so wrong with being average?

Being the dad I am—I was somewhat offended at his choice of words and tried to explain to him why settling was a bad idea and that he’s ‘better than average’.

Later that afternoon on the way to pick him up from school, I realized the error in my approach and that the focus should have probably been 1. Average isn’t necessarily bad and 2. I should have probed a little bit more on what he thought Average meant to him. 3. As a parent, then assess whether he thought Average = Mediocre; and then respond with feedback. I went too far, too fast. The truth is Average is a purely situational term which is driven by context and generally reflective of a comparison of people, objects, or circumstances.

Those who have spent any appreciable time with me know that I have a mild obsession with building and supporting the next generation of leaders. I encourage others to dedicate a portion of their time to reflect on how to continuously improve and do better for others, and then take what they learn and implement the lessons from that knowledge. The question we are usually trying to answer, is “What can we do to operate at a higher level?” Translated for my 10-year-old son… How do we build up our Average? I emphasize ‘build’ here for a few reasons and offer a simple approach that you can apply.

It starts with taking every opportunity to spend time with people who either solve hard problems on a daily basis, are building things of great significance, or those who have the heavy responsibility for making consequential decisions as a regular part of their day. Most of us only have that charge in special circumstances – stress, panic, or related abnormal situation that requires intense focus. In each case, we hope that we have made the best decision with the information we have. However, regularly interacting with those who have great responsibility teaches us how to make higher quality decisions, faster. We become better advisers, teachers, and importantly – put ourselves in a better position to help others.

Connecting with those that professionally live in areas outside of our spheres of comfort and ‘do hard often’ unlocks another gear for us. I would argue that these experiences provide you with a better chance (on average, of course ??) of manifesting the art of the possible when we expose ourselves to different people and cultures. Leaders seek these opportunities – we don’t sit by the phone and wait for it to ring… we pick up the receiver (or scroll our contacts list these days) to make the call. This month we celebrated, among many things, the contributions our nation’s Presidents, the richness of Black History and the accomplishments of engineers and technologists. Going into March we are privileged to pay homage to the vital roles of women in American history. Great leaders also embrace that diversity is a fact, and being inclusive is a game-changing behavior. * Honoring those legacies, learning from our past, and spending time with those that have been influenced by their teachings are part of the 1% improvements that can make us better every day. Simple math: (1.00)^365 = 1; (1.01)^365 = 37. Lean in and be a multiplier.

So how did the conversation end with my son? Over a milkshake (mom still wasn’t home), of course. We struck a deal—I agreed that average doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but he promised me that he will try to get just a little bit better every day.

?*I tried, but couldn’t find who first quoted a version of this statement