Issue 35 | Bloom with Ruth Penfold

Hello beautiful human

Fun fact, when I was Chief People Officer, part of my role, and the role of my team was to hire and invest in phenomenal leaders for the portfolio companies we served within bp Launchpad. Launchpad was an innovation arm for bp (yep, Oil and Gas bp) who invested in companies, then got them ready to scale.??

We developed a whole skills matrix, around what we felt we needed in our C-Suite roles, that we could then cherry pick from around the needs of the business in specific roles.?

Over the next few weeks, I am going to be deep diving on some of the leadership skills that are essential for us to hone over on my weekly newsletter... sign up here.

The first skill was: 'Able to flex style according to audience and to pivot quickly.'

I was overwhelmed by how much it resonated with so many of my weekly readers, and the question that many of them had was around how to navigate the often challenging conversations that come up when you decide to pivot, and how to flex your style for the audience with confidence and grace.?

The good news? We have a whole section on this stuff in Bloom... so this week and next week I will outline some of the highlights of how to navigate it.?

But let me support you with one of those questions right now... challenging conversations. Because, let's face it, getting real in a difficult conversation?is an essential leadership skill.

My 2024 mood has been one of speaking my truth, and I want to invite you to join me as we round out the year.?

Which means I need a little active participation from you, dear reader?(fellow Bridgerton fans, that was for you).?

That conversation that you have been avoiding... yeah, that one... this week you are going to have it.

First, let me give you the science bit.?

The reason you are holding back from these conversations makes sense. It’s a trauma response, you’ve likely learnt that you aren’t safe when you speak up.?

So whilst I am going to give you tactical tools to help you do it,?the real issue is the body mind connection.?

You are, most likely, experiencing a freeze response.?

If you find yourself stuck like that, here’s three things you can do without anyone noticing.?

1. Orient yourself in the room you are in.?Look around, see where the door is, see how much space you have around you. This is showing yourself how much safety you have around you, and that you can escape.?
2. Comfort yourself physically with your own hands.?Say in your mind, I am safe. I gently stroke my hands up and down my legs, but it could be as simple as holding your own hand.
3. Take a couple of really deep breaths.?Pay attention to what is happening in your body fully… ‘I am breathing in. I am breathing out.?

Unwinding the nervous system isn’t easy, so be gentle as you do, but those simple acts will start the body mind connection up a little bit.?

As for the conversation, when we have a little time to prep, here's what we are gonna do.

#1 Write a script

Brain dump everything swirling in your head, then refine it. Something powerful happens when we write things down and don’t just carry them in our heads. Distill it down to the one key message you gotta land. Brainstorm potential objections and be ready to take people on the journey with you.

#2 Rehearse and plan

Don't wing it! Rehearse your script as if it was a presentation. Choose a time that works for everyone as best as you can. Planning also means we are creating accountability with ourself to actually go ahead and do it.

#3 Have the conversation

Deep breaths, you got this! You've prepped, planned, and rehearsed. Now, deliver your perspective and have a real conversation. Feeling nervous? Admit it. Give the other person space to speak up when they're ready. Remember, you're sharing your only ever sharing a perspective and they will have theirs too.

It's honestly that simple dear reader. The first few will feel like the worst thing ever I am sure... but it gets easier. I promise it does.?

I'll be breaking down more skills in the weeks that follow on my weekly newsletter.

Have a beautiful month gang

Ruth x

I've got a question for you friend...

What is your soul nudging you to do?

In the new episode of Women Who Lead, I have the wonderful Bryony Williams with me to discuss how to become more in tune with ourselves and self aware, discussing the deep programming that affects our confidence and clouds our belief in our gut judgement.

Bryony's work empowers women to take up space in leadership roles, working towards a more diverse board for decision-making in companies.?Click the image below to get to the episode, go go go!