Issue #18: Greetings, this is Emily Post calling
Katheryn Bermann
Holistic Wellness Coach for Neurodivergent Individuals & Those with Chronic Conditions | Accessible, Compassionate Support with No Masking Required
Why is it lately that myself and so many of my friends and colleagues pick up a ringing phone, say "hello," and get greeted with, "is this [wrong name]?" Or simply just "[caller-chosen nickname]?" We have no idea who's calling, about what, and sometimes how they even got our number in the first place!
Welcome to issue #18 of the Humanity in Human Services newsletter! This is a newsletter written by me, Katheryn M. Bermann, MS, a therapist and advocate for special needs children. I use applied behavior analysis (ABA), an evidence-based practice incorporating principles of behavior science, to help kids and families reach goals varying from academic readiness to emotion identification and regulation.
Though the field of ABA in particular is taking several steps to incorporate neuro-affirming and trauma-informed practices such as assent-based care, this newsletter is for anyone who works with people. You may or may not be formally employed in the "helping professions," but you are interested in bringing more humanity into how you interact with others.
Speaking on the phone seems to be turning into an old-fashioned skill. My goal in this issue is not to bombard anyone with negativity or call out any individual or company. Lately, it just seems that phone calls are not nearly as enjoyable as they used to be.
You don't have to embody the pinnacle of politeness every time you pick up a phone. However, little changes here and there can drastically change the feel of a conversation.
I recently picked up the phone, said "Hello?" and the other person said, "Is this Kathy?"
I've never gone by Kathy. I don't know how to address them. I don't know their company. My brain went "Huh???"
I am a person who responds very well to lists, post-it notes, sequences, and SOPs. So if you do too, here are some of my go-to templates and troubleshooting suggestions regarding phone calls.
When I make my first phone call to someone, I usually follow some version of: "[Polite greeting], this is [my name] calling. I am trying to reach [point of contact] about [topic], please."
I have several permutations I can use if I'm not sure who I need to speak to, which come after "this is [my name] calling.":
-"I have a question about [topic]"
-"I am trying to accomplish [task]"
-"I'm not quite sure who to speak to about this; I am trying to [task]"
Example: "Good morning, this is Katheryn Bermann calling. I'm trying to reach John Smith about scheduling our appointment, please." Depending on my company's policies, I may be able to give some context around the nature of the appointment as well.
If it's apparent that I probably reached the wrong person when the recipient picks up, my template is: "[Polite greeting], this is [my name] calling. My apologies, I may have the wrong number. I was trying to reach [company]."
Sometimes I substitute "[company]" with "[point of contact] at [company]," or "[point of contact] about [topic]" depending on how sensitive the information is that I need to discuss.
Example: "Good afternoon, this is Katheryn Bermann calling. My apologies, I may have the wrong number. I was trying to reach Shelia at GMC."
If I was referred by someone, I usually provide that information right away to give the recipient some context: "I was referred to you by [name] at [company]." This frequently replaces "I am trying to reach . . ." or comes before it.
What if you find yourself in a situation like I did, where the other person doesn't introduce themselves?
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"To whom am I speaking, please?" usually does the trick as a professional prompt.
What about being called Kathy? Or any other non-preferred name?
"This is Katheryn speaking."
Yes, they should know the name of the person they're calling. But again, a small prompt like this usually does the job because it sets clear expectations around how you want to be addressed. You may also provide a prompt such as "I reached out about [topic]."
To conclude a phone call, I always try to make sure I understand what action steps are next. For example, do I need to do some research and call back? Does the caller need to consult with colleagues and call me back? Both? Neither?
My template in this situation is: "If I understand you correctly, the next steps on my end are [what I think the caller is asking for]. Is this right?" Sometimes I will say "I want to make sure I'm understanding you correctly" or "Let me make sure I have this right." I might also say any provided deadlines back to them for verification.
Example: "I want to be sure I'm understanding you. The next steps on my end are to fill out the written application and email it back to you by the end of this week. Is that correct?"
I try to signal the very end of the call using a polite farewell such as "Okay, thank you! Bye, have a good day!" This lets both parties know the call has ended and eliminates confusion as to whether a callback is needed if the line goes dead while the conversation is wrapping up.
Again, these suggestions are not meant to completely streamroll existing policies regarding professional conduct. I'm certainly not an etiquette expert. I have simply found that when I follow the above templates, my phone conversations tend to be a lot smoother and a lot more enjoyable.
P. S. If any readers knew who Emily Post was going into this newsletter issue, please comment below for a virtual cookie and an IOU :)
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Thank you for reading this edition of Humanity in Human Services!
There is an associated Facebook group located here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1018333445884666
There is also a LinkedIn group for ABA professionals interested in incorporating trauma-informed practices located here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/groups/14325191/
Please feel free to like, comment, subscribe, and forward to anyone who may be interested. Have a great week!
Katheryn M. Bermann, MS
Newsletter thumbnail image credit: https://dcjournal.com/point-benevolent-and-vicarious-racism-in-diversity/