Issue #159: Special Edition - On the Power of Acting As If

If you’d prefer, listen to this issue here. Don't want to miss an issue? Click the bell icon on my LinkedIn profile page to get notified when new issues publish.

We’re back from our brief summer break, and excited to bring you a special edition, where we’re combining the usual INSIGHTS, IMPERFECTIONS, and IMPLEMENTATION sections into one topic, focused on two words:

As if.?

Meaning, consider the power of acting as if.

What if you acted as if you had permission?

You’d take that initiative at work to do what you thought was right to move things forward, without waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay. You’d speak up in that meeting, not worried about whether or not people feel you have something to contribute. You’d write that book you’ve always had inside you, not waiting for someone to tell you that you’re a writer, or that you have something worth reading.?

What if you acted as if you already have approval?

As I indicate in my new book, The Mentally Strong Leader, the struggle for approval is an elusive, yet empty victory at best, and confidence and soul-crushing at worst. Approval is an insatiable beast; once you start chasing it, the pursuit can be never-ending. And seeking approval can alter your behavior in unintended, unhealthy ways. In an attempt to gain acceptance in some form, you grow further and further from your authentic self.

Instead, when you catch yourself in approval seeking mode, ask yourself three questions:

1. Why am I seeking approval?

2. How is my need for approval holding me back?

3. What if I acted as if I already have approval?

What if you acted as if you were going to succeed?

You’d focus on assisting success, versus avoiding failure. The two mindsets produce two very different courses of action. You wouldn’t overthink decisions you’ve already made, or are about to make. You wouldn’t hold back giving it your all, or taking that chance. You’d go for it, knowing that your fear of failure can no longer save you from getting hurt, because you’ve already made the leap and assumed success on the other side. Even if it turns out not to be the success you originally thought you’d find.

What if you acted as if you already have the job?

My daughter demonstrated this one to me recently, and I couldn’t be prouder - in two ways. She really wanted a specific summer internship, and so, she asked for it. No small thing. Many times, people ask me for coaching on how to get something they want, only to offer a blank stare when I ask them, “Well, have you asked for that?” Second, when she didn’t get an answer on her internship candidacy (from understandably very busy people), after waiting, and waiting, and waiting, she just acted as if she already had the job. She reached out to get her questions answered using assumptive language, carefully and respectfully helping people fill in the blanks and cross t’s and dot i’s, finishing the thought for people that the job was indeed hers. Not as a path to least resistance, but because she should have the job. I’m not talking about aggressiveness. I’m talking about assertiveness.?

The point here is that many of the things in life that we hope for, dream for, long for, never come to fruition because of invisible barriers that we put up ourselves. Acting as if is an assumptive move, to be certain. But one that counters incorrect assumptions you’re likely already making. Bring more of it into your life, and you won’t just be acting as if, you’ll be counteracting the ghosts who tell you otherwise.

? Share this publication with a friend, see the keynotes/workshops I give at scottmautz.com and check out my LinkedIn Learning courses, taken over 1.5 million times (and counting)!

? Order my new book, The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors, called an “indispensable resource” by Dan Pink, and already hailed by multiple CEO’s.