Issue 13: Tough Love

Now that I have issued a dozen newsletters and you have hopefully come to trust that I know workplaces and care about your success and fulfillment I have a bit of a bitter pill for you.

I am seeing a lot of fluff, time wasting, and general lack of clarity all around me.

At the risk of angering women during Women's History Month, I am observing this behavior disproportionately from women.

I am also seeing women who are insightful, efficient, and laser-focused.

The latter group of women is building business-driven engagement and leaving the other women behind. This upsets and concerns me.

In the last month I have given a woman feedback on her CV and had her dismiss me. I have also had a woman take my comments on her presentation and make changes immediately -- to incorporate the ones she valued into a meeting later that same day.

The reason I am willing to provide feedback is because I care more about these women's success than I do about them liking me.

I also benefit from having a transparent public profile; what you see on LinkedIn truly is who I am. What I say is what I deeply believe. My core values are on display and my driving mission to create NextGen workplaces where people thrive is no secret.

That makes it easier for me to deliver tough love because I show up with authenticity and vulnerability on LinkedIn, in on-line communities, or at speaking engagements in front of hundreds of attendees.

Rather than just say I do this, let me demonstrate it with a confession.

I am struggling lately. I am struggling to help women. I am struggling with the continuum between judgment and acceptance.

They are frustrating me. If I had to sum up in one sentence what they are doing that is upsetting me most it is this:

"They aren't paying enough attention."

They aren't paying enough attention to how their actions impact others.

They aren't paying enough attention to what they really need and how to communicate it.

They aren't paying enough attention to their physical and mental health and wellness.

They aren't paying enough attention to how the job market, corporate culture, and social norms have shifted.

They aren't embracing their inherent strengths and recognizing that women possess the ability to balance ambition with compassion, action with relationship building, and performance with collaboration.

If you have been with me 1:1 lately you have heard me say this, either to you, or (anonymously) about others, asking if you are observing the same things, asking how I can better communicate why we need to start paying more attention.

That's why this newsletter is going to end here this month. I won't be sharing a tool from my library, expert research or links.

That gives you back 4 minutes of reading time in which I invite you to ponder the question - what might I not be paying enough attention to?

I know, I'm being tough on you, but it's done with love.