Isolation and loneliness in Men

Isolation and loneliness in Men

Now, this is a very sensitive issue but it affects more people than you might realise so put on your reading glasses and stick with me.

I won’t bore you with statistics for very long- just this one real quick: in 2016 and 2017, 5% of adults in the UK were reported, feeling lonely “often” or “always”.

Boohoo right!

Man up, some of you might think…

But as little as us blokes like to talk about our feelings, I believe that this is a subject that needs to be addressed.

Hopelessness

Suicide is still way too high in numbers and with men being the number one when it comes to committing suicide, I can’t help but wonder:

How can we prevent coming anywhere near that form of hopelessness?

I’m not talking about the odd occasion of feeling like not belonging, l the vague idea of being a wee bit lonely.

I’m talking about a serious problem that might affect you in your mental wellbeing. I’m talking about soul-crushing loneliness and the feeling, that no-one really gives a shit.

There are few things worse than feeling all alone and not being part of something bigger, be it a solid partnership, a family, a community or society.

Loneliness comes in different forms and shapes and a fit, healthy bloke, sitting in a full pub, surrounded by lots of people can feel just as lonely as an old widower, all alone in his house.

But today I’d like to focus on the type of cut off that comes with health issues or respectively I’d like to talk about isolation as a result of awareness of our appearance.

Loneliness as a result of avoidance

How many of you have canceled an evening out because you couldn’t be bothered”

You couldn’t be bothered to feel like “the fat friend” again…

couldn’t be bothered to be “the wingman”

and couldn’t be bothered to, again, feel totally out of place.

As a result, the alternative is a night in.

Again.

A lack of movement and comfort food and here we go again…

catch 22, right!?

You might avoid fun activities (like football with your mates) because that would involve running…and if you’re honest to yourself, you might not even remember the last time you ran.

You might question if you are physically able to run (and…erm…other things?)

You don’t want to be the one who’s asking for a break again so you cancel.

Period.

You don’t want to be the sweaty mess that’s out of breath all the time so you cancel.

And soon you might not get asked by friends or social network and to start with you might prefer that.

Until the feeling of being cut-off kicks in.

And this is where the loneliness kicks in.

The isolation that you created yourself but that you hate more than anything.

Or you might compare yourself too much to others and frankly feel ashamed (consciously or unconsciously) of what you have become and fall back into avoidance.

Facing your demons

Now facing our demons is hard. Well, I take that back.

It’s not hard…it’s the hardest fucking thing you will probably ever have to do and it takes some serious balls!

It also comes with great rewards.

Many would rather die young than face their struggles and facing reality.

I know ‘cause I have been in that mindset for the last year…

But dining young is easy my friend, living is harder

So…

My call is to offer you help…

To prove that this kind of loneliness that’s born out of avoidance CAN be broken and you too can live your life the way you want to, because YOU are the creator of your own decisions and you have the power to turn things around.

For many of us (me included), it takes a little kick in the ass to get the ball rolling…

but that’s not important.

What is Important is to get the fucking ball rolling.

Especially with getting closer to the time of the year that a lot of people really struggle with, It’s something close to my heart, to address the connection of physical and mental wellbeing.

If I can leave you with one thing it will be this:

Face your demons. Face them and make them run after you kick them square in the bollocks Because you’re worth living the life you deserve.

Some people can’t choose…

Their health is screwed for reasons they simply can’t impact but if you are one of those who are lucky enough to be able to influence your physical and mental wellbeing…

Don’t put it off…

Don’t be a scared little teenager who won’t ask for help.

Be a man and sort your shit out

Flick me the word "UNBREAKABLE" and ill spend 10 mins helping you put together . battle plan.

To your health

A.