Isn't It Obvious?

You may have heard the saying, “You can’t see the forest for the trees”, and you may have come up with your own interpretation as to its meaning, or not.??But, as a behavioral scientist, I find this statement to have a lot of significance as it pertains to human behavior, especially as it applies to human relationships.??I would suspect that the most common interpretation of this statement is that sometimes we can’t see the obvious, or put another way, we can’t see the bigger picture because our preconceived ideas are blocking our view.??And if this is a somewhat accurate interpretation, then it raises the question as to the cause of this phenomenon.??Why do people sometimes find it hard to see something that may appear to be so obvious to others???Well, to start our exploration I will begin by saying that we have two sets of eyes that we use to help interpret our experiences.??Our external set which allows us to see shapes, forms, and colors.??When our eyes take in data, it requires our brain to analyze and assimilate it to form the basis for our interpretation.??If the item or situation we are viewing is already stored in our memory bank, then there is usually no need for further interpretation.??However, if the item or situation is something we haven’t seen before, or anything similar, then we may choose to explore it further, or dismiss it as meaningless.

Our second set of eyes are internal and are attached not to our brain functioning, but to our imagination.??Granted our brain is involved, but not for the purpose of collecting external data, but for providing attention to the image it receives from the imagination.??These internal pair of eyes are the windows to the soul because they can read our genetic coding, which is simply the compilation of everything that we are.??In other words, it is what constitutes the way in which you see yourself, and how you feel about yourself, and how you go about satisfying your psychological needs, such as the need to express and receive love.??Some people use meditation, prayer, and other modes of contemplation to access the content of their inner world that the internal eyes see.??But you don’t need to use any of these methods to gain access, you just need to stop your gaze on the outside world and pause long enough to get a glimpse of the internal image.??And if you’re not very visual, this image may come as a thought or concept, or as a strong feeling about something.??Some people even take a thought from the external world and place it into their imagination to see what it comes up with.??Say you wanted to open an art gallery but you can’t see a way to do it based on your current situation.??By placing the idea into your imagination, sprinkled with desire, usually you will come up with something that can help you get started.??And depending on the strength of your desire, the imagination may show you all the necessary steps to get your gallery open.

But I stated at the beginning of this article that the statement, you can’t see the forest for the trees, has significant meaning as it pertains to human relationships.??So, let us use the two examples of seeing to make our claim.??When we see people only from an external viewpoint, we are interpreting their behavior in the context of the environment in which we see them.??And herein lies the problem, the environment.??We all live in the same world, but each of us experiences it differently.??The environment represents what we choose to?think?is happening in the moment.??This choice is based on how we think we are being affected by what’s going on, and what our actions and reactions should be in establishing our position.??Say for instance, you are being yelled at by your significant other, or your boss, or your teacher.??Based on the amount of authority they represent to you will determine your course of action in dealing with them in that situation.??You may choose to cower before them and say nothing, you may choose to cry in front of them in hopes of initiating some sympathy from them, or you may stand up to them and try to present your side of the story.??Based on your accuracy, or inaccuracy, of your interpretation of the situation will determine if the situation escalates or finds resolution. The point is, when you are strictly using your external means of interpretation, that which may be obvious may get contorted by your misinterpretation of what’s really going on in the environment in the present moment.??You may have constructed an environment that serves your immediate need, however that environment which you constructed my not serve the need of the relationship you have with someone.??If you have ever heard the words, or spoken them, “Can’t you see what I’m trying to tell you?” then you have an idea of what it means to not see the so-called obvious.

Our internal eyes have a better grasp of the obvious because they not only employ the imagination, but they also invoke our intuitive feelings.??Which simply means that we can feel when something is not quite right, or conversely when something is, if we are attuned to our feelings.??When we ignore our feelings in favor of sticking to what we think we already know, then that which is obvious may be lost to a prior interpretation from a somewhat similar situation.??Humans are not only creatures of habit; we are creatures with habits, especially when it comes to relating to others.??We develop behaviors that we grow comfortable with and we generally maintain them whenever we feel threatened, some fight and some take flight; or whenever we are on our quest for pleasure.??Our internal eyes help us to see the deeper meaning of our actions.??Since our internal eyes can read our genetic coding, they make it possible for us to know our motivates to satisfy both our physiological and our psychological needs.??Because there is a motive behind every action that we take, but we are not able to see it from a strictly external viewing perspective.??Which plays into the act of selective vision, which means that a person sees what they want to see.??Which is also a form of belief validation.??Say for instance a person thinks the world is full of unfriendly, manipulative, cold-hearted people.??To validate this belief, that is what they will strive to see in their worldly environment.??On the other hand, if a person thinks the world has kind, generous, thoughtful people in it, that is what they will seek to find in their environment.??Now we know that both types exist in the world.??So, the challenge is to learn how to reconcile your belief to match what you perceive is going on and respond in a way that allows you to demonstrate the kind of person you are.??Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. certainly recognized that there were unkind people in the world, but he didn’t try to change them by hating them, he merely demonstrated the love he had for humanity.??He did not allow his external visions to influence his internal image of himself, and neither should you.??So, it would behoove you to not let your external eyes be the sole contributor of how you view the world, because you may find that you can’t see the forest for the trees.??

If you would like further exploration on this as well as other related topics, you can order a copy of my latest book, “Is There Something You Want? Take It from Me!”.??Copies can be obtained from my publisher, Outskirts Press.com, Barnes and Nobles, Apple iBook’s, Amazon, Marcus Book Store in Oakland, Copperfield’s Book Store in Napa, and Main Street Books in Saint Helena.????????????????????????