There isn't an Age Limit to Change (aka Self-Improvement)

It isn't the first time that someone I barely knew online (or met in-person) has come to me and told me that I shouldn't be too honest with others about myself (or to reveal too much). But what they might not understand is that I'm also deeply passionate about the subject of "Personal Development", or "Self-Improvement" as some would like to call it that.

I picked up my very first self-improvement book as a teenager (I was 15), and after spending an entire week reading the book, it totally changed my life. Yeap, you might have guessed that one too. It's the "7 highly effective habits for teens". Almost immediately, my life in school improved, and so were my relationships with other classmates and schoolmates (despite my personality being somewhat withdrawn and private). More importantly, my own grades improved.

Since then, over the years, I have devoted a significant amount of money, time and energy into all things related to personal development. But I eventually got to a point in my life where I've read more than I applied. I've acquired so many amazing soft skills and knowledge, but I was still failing in other (sometimes new) areas of my life. I felt like I've hit an invisible glass ceiling of change.

Stop Reading/Writing About It and Just Do It.

It was only in early-2018 that I woke up one morning and I finally decided that I've had enough with my very own BS. It felt like high-time that I stopped "talking" about self-improvement and actually focused on doing something about it. For the next few years, I finally was able to break through that invisible ceiling of change that had kept me down for so long. But it wasn't always easy.

There was this cultural belief where I'm from - that change becomes much harder (requires more will) as you age. The general belief is that most of us Chinese folks (not necessarily from China), from all over the world would struggle with something similar. As we age, we tend to become more stubborn [stuck] in our ways, and our thinking. So therefore, change becomes harder.

I must admit, for someone who's really passionate about self-improvement, I found it hard to reconcile between the two things - change and age. I'm not saying that I'm old or anything, I mean, I'm still in my early-40s, so hopefully that makes me one of the younger ones. LOL. Anyway, my point being, I've decided to not allow my age or the cultural belief system become an excuse for not changing, growing and improving.

Great Example: Following Through with My Own Ideas/Plans

When it comes to self-improvement and personal growth, I've always believed that it's important for me to be vulnerable enough to admit when I have certain flaws as a human being. There's really nothing wrong with being honest and upfront about it. The real question is, what am I going to do about it. What sort of actions am I taking to remedy that flaw (or in some cases, mitigate it, or work around it). Some of my flaws have to do with my innate personality (can't exactly remedy that), so I would have to figure out a way, or ways to work around it, mitigate it's effects on my daily life. Other flaws are related to my character, and those I can remedy (with enough time).

So, when I'm referring to the above mentioned flaw that I have, it happens to be one of those that I can actually remedy and change over time. It has nothing to do with my personality as a person. All I really need is the will/determination to do something about it.

The old way...

For as long as I can remember (or am aware of it), I've always been pretty good at following other people's plans and ideas. If someone were to come to me with a task, or a goal, I would find it easier to see it through. I believe that that is largely because I know I have to be accountable to someone else other than myself. And because I am answering to someone else, I know what happens if I don't follow through with the commitment that I have made. There's almost an immediate price I'd have to pay if I fail to follow through with those commitments.

But when it comes to my own plans and ideas, I would usually struggle to see them through. It is also true about my personality that I often have a thousand thoughts, and a million ideas running through my mind on any given day (purely exaggerated to make a point). So, for me to really stick to one idea or plan can be rather difficult. As much as I would love to pin that on my mild ADHD, I know that doing so would only make it an excuse. So, it is not unusual that throughout my rather short life on this earth thus far, there have been so few personal ideas and plans that I've actually set for myself and I actually see them through to the end. Finito. Out of a 100 ideas, I'll probably only see 1 or 2 of them through. The rest?? Well, I would get really excited, I would start working on it, and I would share my ideas and plans with others (usually through social media posts); and then after a few weeks, my drive and motivation will fizzle out. And then I'll start thinking about the other ideas and thoughts that I have.

That is how I've always been.

The new way...

But not anymore. As excited and enthusiastic as I am about a new idea and plan that I'm having right this very moment, I am remembering my lessons and I'm doing all I can to resist the urge of sharing it publicly online. Clearly, I am hoping that I will be able to see this idea through. I've already scrapped way too many ideas before this one. And to think that I had shared them online publicly certainly has me slightly embarrassed. It's like talking about something, but then later have nothing to show for it. What will it say about me as a person, right?

So I really need to change that.

For a start, I want to stop sharing about my personal ideas, plans, projects. The only point when I think would be appropriate to start sharing is after I have something substantial to show for it. Otherwise, it'll just be empty words.

Don't get me wrong, I think it can be a great thing having so many different ideas and inspiration. Man, my brain is never boring. Not for a sec. But until I can turn some of those amazing ideas and inspiration into something real, they forever remain that - just ideas and inspirational thoughts.

Concerned about my motivation

The other thing that I'm also going to have to figure out as I go - how am I going to maintain my motivation long enough to see a project through? This is one of those things that I usually struggle with the most. Losing motivation/steam.

For me personally, it's usually not the lack of will or determination. I can be a pretty stubborn/strong willed individual. So that says something about me. But it is also easy to find excuses for why I want to give up, or walk away from a personal project. My most recent had to be the fact that I didn't have the necessary hardware to do what I wanted to do.

For me personally, there's a period of time when I kept trying to convince myself that the source of my lack of motivation is because I didn't have the necessary hardware or tools to help me be more productive/effective. Whatever project idea(s) I've had, I saw what I had as some kind of personal limitation. It reached this point where I almost believed that because I didn't have better hardware and software tools, therefore I am lesser than others (my fellow peers, i.e. other designers and developers).

But then I finally decided to snap myself out of it. I've come to accept that even if I had less than others, it doesn't negate all of my talents, skills and experiences. I can always figure a way to make do (even if my progress on those personal projects is going much slower than I would've liked). If I truly and genuinely want others to see that I've changed, then I have to find a way to show them that regardless of my personal circumstances, I have the will and determination to stay committed to my projects and goals (even when I feel demotivated on some days).

So here's what I want to say to you - you can change. Age is not a problem. It should never be. Changing, adapting, improving, growing is something that you and I need regardless of how old we are today. I'm almost 42 now, I'm a stubborn, strong-willed SOB, and I am still willing and able to change. Why can't you?