#IsBalanceBogus
Anne Chow (She/Her)
Transformative Executive & Servant Leader | Board & Advisory Member | Inclusion, Culture & Connection Champion | Professor ?? | Keynote Speaker ?? | National Best-Selling Author of LEAD BIGGER ??
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein
Now that the summer season is here, daily routines shift a bit for many of us. With kids home from school, vacations and gatherings with family and friends are seemingly more frequent, and there’s an overall desire to be “in the office less.” For those who live near the beach or even a lake, there is a calendar management priority to create three day weekends throughout the summer. Can anyone relate?
One of the most common questions I receive when giving a keynote, participating in panel discussion, or engaging in a mentor circle is: “How do you do it all, Anne? How do you achieve balance between your work and home life?” Given the time of year, perhaps now is a good time to share my point of view on this enduring topic. Heads up though – my perspective is a bit unconventional.
I believe that you can have it all – just not all at the same time. That balance – with the notion of equality in your professional and personal life – is a continuous, unpredictable, journey. In a word, I feel the balance that so many seek is “bogus.” We each have one life to live, and for many of us it includes, work, family, friends, community and so much more. Life is an optimization equation (that’s the geek in me speaking!), and at any given time, you have a set of priorities to which you are optimizing your time by making thoughtful choices. As such, seeking that perfect balance of time between work and home should not be our objective.
To attempt balance in this way would mean that you’re living somewhat cautiously, attempting to keep that metaphoric scale of your work versus home life in a “balanced state.” I would humbly suggest that life is not meant to be lived in balance – rather, just like exercise and interval training – you won’t know what you’re capable of unless you push yourself and keep moving forward. It is only through the cycles of the highs and lows in your life that you will expand your capacity and strength – for learning, for experiences, for relationships…for anything. What do you think?
And to the optimization objective – it’s a purely personal thing. Our set of priorities are our own and yes, they do change over time. Rather than attempt to focus on “balance,” I strive to be clear about my priorities. This approach helps to make my choices easier, and thus, I’m more at peace with my decisions and the consequences thereof. I try to focus on “no do-over moments” – those moments/events/times that if not experienced will yield lasting regret, either for me or for someone important to me. While I confess that I’m not batting 1,000 with my “no do-over” moments, I’m doing pretty well – probably about 900+ looking back on my life thus far.
So, now that I’ve shared my perspective on balance with you…what’s your view? What does living life in harmony or balance mean to you? Is it commonplace for you to struggle with the choices between work and home life commitments? If so how do you choose? Please consider sharing your reflections and insight on this topic, so that all may benefit.
Thank you and best of luck in solving your optimization equation…whatever that may be right now!
Window and Door Manufacturer | Window Supplier | Window Replacement | Aluminium Windows Illawarra, Sydney, Far South Coast
7 年Another great post. Thanks for sharing.
IT/AV Advisor
7 年I agree with you and feel work/life balance is a myth. However, this does not mean I cannot find balance in my life. I travel 3-6 months a year, and am fortunate enough to work for a company which encourages me to never miss those "no do-over" moments. When I am home, I focus on my wife, my kids and hobbies. When I am at the office I am present and zero in on what needs to be accomplished. (I also take opportunity to work from home when it presents itself.). When I travel, I put in the extra time to get the job done as efficiently as possible. This only works for me because I took the steps to eliminate the "noise" from my life, and began to focus on what really matters. I recommend an article written in 1910 titled,"how to live on 24-hours a day". I find it amazingly relevant today.
AT&T
7 年I've been asked on numerous occasions 'how do you do it all?' And I always respond with 'this is my priority and I make it happen'. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I find it interesting that others try to find balance as if it's a competition between work and personal life. I feel blessed to have a choice but I just make priorities and follow through with them. Sometimes it is work and other times it's personal but I'm always having fun!
Commercial Business Partner, program management
7 年Balance is an individual concept. Life is not a straight line on the proverbial bicycle mentioned by Einstein - to focus on and approach anything on either side, you must lean into the curve on that bike - maybe peddle a little harder at times with the hills - up and down - to hit the goals set for oneself. As a leader of a major telecommunications company (both Anne and JVB) I am aware you are torn in multiple directions. Most people actually perceive that they are torn in many directions. The difference is how you manage that, the focus brought to bear on what is determined to be the most important thing at a specific moment. Knowing how to tune out distractions and keep peddling that bike - keeps you upright and moving in the direction you plan to go. Not the same path as someone else, but on your path and leaning into the curves you determine are your path to balance. It is only out-of-balance when you and the people you care about are dissatisfied with the direction...