(ir)Resolute

(warning for a bit of perhaps questionable language)

Reflection and looking forward - these are the two sides of New Year's.

2016...It was an interesting year. Interesting in the way of the curse that says "may you live in interesting times". The year (as the year before) was a roller coaster and, frankly, had me questioning virtually everything. I have been irresolute. Which is weird. I'm usually pretty sure about things. I'm an observer (and a good one) and am normally pretty good at using those observation skills along with my intuition to come up with fairly accurate view of most things. And, if people ask me (and sometimes when they don't), I am still full of advice and can give people either a very subjective or very objective view on a lot of things, even if I am deeply immersed in them and even if I don't always listen to my own better judgement. I'm pretty aware of what goes on inside and outside of me...and even if I cannot or won't change things, I can objectively pick them apart, even if subjectively wallowing through.

Some things have gone on personally and professionally that have left me...adrift. Don't get me wrong - there's been some good stuff. REALLY good stuff. But, much has been unsettling, uncomfortable or otherwise left me a bit of a mess. So, what you will find now is a reiteration of a list of things that I have been working on for myself to try to "right the ship" as it were. I try to do these things always, but right now, I need a reminder. Perhaps I say them here to make myself pay attention. Perhaps I say them here in hopes that they may also help others who may be feeling similarly.

So, as I take this first step into 2017, I start by saying...

1. Shit happens...doesn't matter if you want it to or not, sometimes it just happens.
2. You control how you react to said shit. Feel the feels, wallow for a bit if you need to. But then brush yourself off and figure out a way to take one step at a time until you figure out how to move on. You need to build some momentum to move forward.
3. You must own our own shit…no one else can do it for you.
4. Even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes, you are captain of your own ship. Not fate. Sometimes luck is there to help. Sometimes hurdles make it challenging. Other people can help or hinder. But you, with the choices you make and the things you do. craft your own future.

Those things having been said...the following are still my (somewhat updated and edited) guidelines for life:

• Figure out who you are and what and who makes you happy. Pursue those things.
• Do (or at least pursue doing) what you love.
• Walk away from those who are toxic but do not run away from your problems.
• Have a dream but don’t just dream about it. Remember to pursue it.
• Find happiness in the small things and keep from making the crappy things into big things.
• Ask for help and give help where it is needed.
• Be nice and if you slip up, apologize.
• If you have kids, tell them you love them – out loud and without strings or conditions. Tell them every chance you get.
• If there is a significant other, remember to tell them why you are with them and what they mean to you - and if you love them, tell them that. If said other is no longer significant, tell them - gently and with feeling, but move on and let them (and yourself) live in the truth.
• Say yes when you want to and no when you should.
• Take care of yourself as much as you take care of others.
• Have fun.
• Breathe in. Breathe out. Be present.

...we start by putting one foot in front of the other

I don't do resolutions, but I occasionally (very occasionally) make plans. This year I will get off my proverbial ass and write the book I've been dabbling at. Which, you know, means I will probably bother you all with my meanderings, random thoughts, my version of professional guidance and a variety of other written words. Perhaps I will lose followers and connections. But that will be a part of my journey, I suppose.

I still find joy in working with and recruiting engineers for some crazy, oddball reason - so as some things will change, I look forward to some remaining the same.

Once again, I'll share my motto:

Work hard. Play harder. Kiss slowly. Take chances. Tell the truth. Sing out loud. Say "I love you". Laugh. Cry. Give everything of yourself. And have no regrets...

(and, most definitely yes, I am still working on that regrets thing)

Take your life, give it a shake.

And, I am resolute when I end this with much love and hope...