Iron Sharpens Iron

The phrase "Iron Sharpens Iron" is often used to convey that individuals can improve and grow through constructive interaction and mutual support from others. The Mueller Family spends a considerable amount of time around swimming pools. Our son has been in some type of swimming program since he was in diapers and has been in a local swim club for several years. When we originally signed him up, we did not realize the amount of time that swimming took up and that it would become the thing that we scheduled all of our family's free time around. I don't want to sound like the braggadocious sports parent, but he has gotten pretty good and was very competitive in his 9- 10 age group.

In December, he went to a meet where he took first place in all his events and was definitely holding his own in championship and qualifying meets. He felt he was on top of the world and would strut around confidently. Then, a couple of things happened in January.

The first thing that happened was that he was moved up into a higher training group. This meant that his practices would increase in time and distance swam, and he would be training with mostly older and faster kids.

The other thing that happened was that he turned 11. This meant he moved up into an older age group with faster time standards to qualify for meets and older swimmers with whom he had to compete. In both instances, he went from being toward the top to the bottom of the totem pole, where he had to start working his way back up. His swimming is still the same, maybe a little bit better than it was, but now those that he competes and practices with are faster and older, and he doesn't stand out as much as he did.

Even though we had discussed that this would be the case, it has still affected his confidence, and he occasionally gets a little mopey about it. At one point, he was complaining about a few of his older teammates that he used to beat who were now seeing significant gains. He wasn't being the supportive friend and teammate he should have been because of jealousy. We had to discuss a winner's mindset and how he needed to look at this situation.

I firmly believe in the "Iron Sharpens Iron" concept. The first thing we discussed was that if you have the right mindset, having people around you who are better than you will push you to be better. The other thing we discussed was the jealousy of some of his teammates finding success and how that attitude was not a positive contribution to his team and didn't represent a growth mindset. We should not expect others to dim their lights so that ours can seem to shine brighter. Rather than being deflated by someone else's success, a winner will be happy for their teammate and use it as inspiration to work hard and improve.

What my son is experiencing is no different than what countless others face. His story is one that we all face, either personally or professionally. It could be our status within our social circles or our standing in our team environments or professions. I know it is something I always face with my City Manager peers.

City Managers can be a competitive bunch when we get together. The competition for a position is pretty high among a group of strong personalities and big egos. When one of my cohorts achieves something great in their community, gets special recognition, or implements an innovative new program, I push down that initial twinge of jealousy and learn from what they did to see how I can improve. The competitive nature of that group makes us better, but we are also very supportive of one another.

When we encounter situations like this, I encourage everyone to face them with a growth mindset and a winner's attitude. Competition is not bad. It should be used as motivation to improve and get better rather than hold animosity and jealousy against others. Iron sharpens iron as we realize that growth often lies beyond our comfort zones, urging us to embrace challenges presented by those who push us beyond our current capabilities. Surround yourself with individuals or situations that push you, and never stop growing or improving.