Involved silence

Being in a leadership position there are times we need to coach, counsel and mentor fellow colleagues and team players. While the primary focus is to address his/her professional world, I feel there is no way the intervention can be wholesome if we do not find a way to address the person in a 360 degree manner.

A mandatory feedback session that we, as leaders, hold from time-to-time should be viewed as an opportunity to get to know the person better. We should be able to find space in that conversation that will allow the person to know himself or herself better. Why should the intervention be strictly a checklist of what he is good at, what are the areas of improvement, what are his scores etc etc?

As leaders, we are as much responsible for the growth of the person in his or her desired direction, as much we are for the work at his workplace. I would very much like to hold a conversation where I ask questions like,

“Tell me what your future plans are?”

“What is that one thing that you would really like to achieve at the end of this year?”

“Do you find time for your hobbies and passion?”

“Do you balance your life the way you would like it?”

“What is it that you would like to find more time for?”

Allow him to delve within himself to find the answers. Gift him the space of silence. Be involved through your body language while he goes through an internal journey of reflection. You take the shot-gun.

Don’t speak. Just hold the space while his mind takes the journey within. A thought-provoking silence is good. It’s an inner journey. It’s loaded with the exploration of the self. And when it comes gift-wrapped from a person in a leadership position, it’s cathartic in nature. 

We live in a world of active communication. The modus operandi is a constant and never-ending flow of thoughts and ideas. It’s wonderful but at times it feels very chaotic and noisy. In this buzzing environment, quiet moments and silence are precious. If one can offer a person some undivided involved-silence and hold that space, it’s priceless.

As a leader, it will allow us to connect more deeply with the people we work with. So, actively listening and holding the space with our involved silence will take us a long way towards achieving our goal of making that connect.

Gift the people around you a moment of your involved-silence and see what magic it can work!