Invisible Women? A response to the ‘Why Everyone wants a Marlborough Missus’.

Written by Lara Cowan (MO 1992-97) Published in the OM Club Magazine, 11/19.

"‘Why Everyone wants a Marlborough Missus’. Kate Middleton, Sam Cam, Sally Bercow: from Westminster to Windsor, one set of old girls holds surprising sway. We delve inside the 'school for wives.'"

This headline triggered serious alarm bells when it was published back in 2014. It seemed to imply that if you hung a Marlborough girl off your arm you could be on your way to becoming Governor of the Bank of England. Worse still, that the mantle of strength and success, the glue holding society together, is assumed by (or put upon) men. The woman simply being the otherwise invisible 'wife of' he.

In a knee-jerk response to the article, three friends and contemporaries of the College – Caroline Laidlaw (MO 1992-96), Lara Cowan (MO 1992-97), and Susannah Tresilian (NC 1992-97) – started planning a formal and regular meeting for OM women. Through joining forces with Club Chairman, Chris Carpmael (C1 1980-84) the group aims to foster a connected, compassionate community for OM women across the board and support the work of the Young Bursary Fund.

The OM Women’s Networking Group has one main meeting a year in London. The inaugural meeting was at Rathbones and last year's was at Google Kings Cross HQ. Attendance figures are usually around 60-70.

These meetings give OM women, and current students at the College, an opportunity to hear some inspirational talks and debates, promote their own interests and seek advice and contacts to help them navigate their careers. The group is an advice and friendship hub that can help OMs secure the best foundations for fulfillment at life and work. 

We need it! You could write a Netflix series around the lives of the three of us ladies who set up the group.

Take my story. You wouldn’t be wrong if you said it has been written by someone with an interest in looking at life upside-down. It simply began with starting a family at a young age.

In atypical fashion, I left Bristol University after two years and set up my first property business when I was 21 (looking after my newborn baby girl). I went on to win an International Real Estate Award in Barbados several years later. The travel and real-estate agency that I aptly named, 'Grenadine Escape' focussed on a niche market that I had stumbled across in St. Vincent and the Grenadines. The business enabled me to both stay at home and travel in my own time with my daughter. I maintained a focus on the property industry and, as my daughter’s school years came to an end, I started to take risks by bringing other people into my business and helping other people build their businesses.

Essentially, I started out by having a baby, then built a business in my early twenties and went on to work in the mainstream workplace in my late thirties. Although I have faced challenges, this route worked for me...without a husband or a man by my side. I am still involved with Grenadine Escape and I recently joined PropElle, a property and wellness startup as Chief Operations Officer.

Working in the UK property industry means I have regularly been thrown into the ‘man’s world’ debate and it is all too often that I feel a ceiling push back on my progress. Did I hear you say, ‘Me Too’?

A whole century after women in the UK won the right to vote, we are mired in discussions around how gender affects day-to-day life at home, at work, and in career development.

At the time of writing this, with just one week to the gender pay gap reporting deadline, nearly two-thirds of companies still have not disclosed the average difference between what they pay male and female employees per hour. Women working for JPMorgan in the UK are reported to have continued to earn salaries this last year about 26% below their male colleagues and bonuses around 41% worse on a median basis.

However, while we continue to work hard to propel women ‘up’ the money/career ladder and elevate us to a position of ‘improved privilege’, men in the UK are three times as likely to take their own lives than women.

What is going on here?

It is important we find a solution on the middle ground rather than strive to attain status with serious shortcomings.

What seems imperative is to have more women in mainstream jobs to actively change management attitudes to work flexibility and enable more men to share their roles at home. Catherine Stewart (LI 1974-76) – Senior Advisor to Interel & Partner at Jericho Chambers – was a panelist at our 2017 meeting at which the debate topic was Mentoring and again in 2019 when we discussed 'New Ways of Working'. She writes, ‘OM women have shared a learning environment on an equal basis with men at school. Therefore, we are well-placed to help men to understand why diversity of opportunities and responsibilities in the home and workplace is a benefit for men, too. It’s not a zero-sum game.’

When you strip these realities down to the bone, we are talking about struggles over power and money, for food and hunger, happiness and mental stagnation, essentially matters of life and death.

These issues require an ingenuity that might only result from the meeting of many minds. Communication and collaboration can bring to the surface truths and facts of life that we can then work with to find individually appropriate solutions. One size does not fit all.

So, please do connect with our group, via the Club Office or LinkedIn or on the Women's Network on MC Global Connect Groups page. You will see photos on MC Global Connect of our most recent meeting which was held at Google Kings Cross HQ, more on that soon.

Mentoring & Life Stories

At the OM Club, we are continually aiming to match mentors and mentees while we also build a bank of OM Women’s life stories. Do get in touch to collaborate, grow and share within the community.

PROPELLE NETWORK

Women Investing in Property with Confidence

If you are interested in learning about financial wellbeing and investing in property please contact me here or on email [email protected] and I will be in touch.

PropElle is a new and innovative membership group focussed on property and wellbeing, that aims to empower women to make their money work for them.

As a member of PropElle you will get access to straight-talking, female-focused, property investment education, quality networking events, mentoring, power team building, business and entrepreneurship advice, access to funding and access to appraised property investment opportunities.

You can register to receive for more information at www.propellenetwork.com/membership

Article notes

Thanks and acknowledgment to:

Louise Moelwyn-Hughes (Master 2018-)

Lady Kate Cayley (CR 1988-)

Elizabeth Clough (LI 1968-70) Past Marlburian Club President

Catherine Brumwell, née Redpath (NC 1991-96) Editor OM Club Magazine (edited the printed article)

Group Founders

Caroline Laidlaw (MO 1992-96) – Occupational Psychologist

Lara Cowan (MO 1992-97) – Fundraiser and property expert

Susannah Tresilian (NC 1992-97) – Theatre director and audio producer at The Guardian

Olivia Timbs (C1 1970-72) - Group sponsor

Group Event Contributors

Catherine Stewart (LI 1974-76) – Senior Advisor to Interel & Partner at Jericho Chambers

Emily Brooke MBE (TU 2002-04) - Inventor, Industrial Designer, and Entrepreneur known for having developed the Beryl (formerly Blaze) Laserlights used for Santander Cycles (the London bike rental scheme).

Harriet Baldwin (LI 1975-77) – Member of Parliament for West Worcestershire

Jo Iddon (SU 1987-89) - Cognitive Behavioural Neuropsychologist, Author, Poet, Media Consultant to The Football Association & Kantar Consulting

Karen Hill (B2/MM 1988-90) – Director at Nickshot HR

Kristy Castleton (CO 1994-96) – Rebel & Soul and Calyx Tech, Singapore

Michelle Jana Chan (TU 1990-92) – Journalist, broadcaster and author

Miriam Foster (TU 2001-03) – Barrister 

Phanella Fine (NC 1994-98) – Former City lawyer and equity fund manager, founder of The Step-Up Club

Polly Rathbone (EL 1991-96) - Director / HR Consultant, Rathbone HR Solutions, Mentor, Founder of Bath HR network

Samantha Peter (MM 1991-93) – Head of Marketing at Google for Education

Tessa Packard (TU 2001-03) – Marlborough Youth Fund and founder of Tessa Packard Jewellery

#womensnetwork #eachforequal #IWD2020 #femalefocus #genderparity #marlborough #bursary #womenforwomen #propertyinvestment