The Invisible Wall We Forget Exists

The Misunderstood Guilt

Have you ever felt that nagging sensation of letting someone down? That heavy feeling of not solving their problems or meeting their expectations, leaving you convinced you’re failing them?

You might label it guilt, but what if it’s not guilt?

According to Dr. Becky Kennedy, this feeling often isn’t guilt. Instead, it’s the discomfort of absorbing and metabolizing someone else’s emotions.

Emotions Aren’t Contagious—Unless You Let Them Be

Imagine this:

You’re on one side of a tennis court, holding your values, desires, and needs. On the other side stands someone you care about, expressing their emotions, frustrations, or needs. Between you lies an invisible glass wall—a boundary designed to keep their feelings on their side and yours on yours.

But sometimes, those emotions seep through. You start carrying their feelings, mistaking them for guilt. You feel the weight of their disappointment or frustration, even though it doesn’t belong to you.

The truth is that their emotions are theirs. Your choices and needs are yours.

When you absorb others’ emotions, you take responsibility for something that isn’t your burden.

This blurring of boundaries between empathy and over-ownership leaves you emotionally drained and disconnected from your own needs.

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