The Invisible Struggle: Understanding the Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse on Parents

In England and Wales, one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused. If you think that figure is frightening, those of us who work and research in the field feel it’s even higher, judging by the number of people who come forward to us and organisations like Little Ro or Survivors’ Voices.

With such staggering statistics, why aren’t we enraged as a society? On a recent journey from York to Stevenage, I delved into this question with three insightful ladies. They suggested that being overwhelmed, ashamed, and lacking support are significant barriers.

So, let’s look at these factors.

Overwhelm

Disbelief is a natural response; it’s unimaginable to think that something so devastating could happen to your child. Parents might grapple with questions like, “How did I not see this?” or “Could I have prevented it?” This emotional overload can lead to feelings of paralysis, making it difficult to take the following steps towards healing.

The sheer weight of processing such a traumatic event can consume a parent’s thoughts and energy. It’s not just about coping with their own emotions but also about supporting their child through an incredibly tough time. The path ahead might seem unclear, filled with uncertainty and fear.

Shame

Shame often accompanies overwhelm. There’s a societal stigma surrounding abuse that can make parents feel isolated. They may worry about judgement from others or fear that their parenting will be scrutinised. This sense of shame can be so powerful that it silences them, preventing them from reaching out for much-needed support.

It’s important to remember that abuse is never the fault of the victim or their family. Yet, shame can make it hard to see this truth. Breaking through this barrier is crucial for healing, both for the child and the parents.

Lack of Support

When parents find the courage to seek help, they often encounter a lack of resources. Counselling waiting lists can be long, and specialised services might need to be more readily available. This scarcity can make families feel abandoned when they are most vulnerable.

Community support systems sometimes fall short, leaving parents to navigate the complex emotional and legal landscapes on their own. This gap in support hinders healing and can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and shame.

Moving Forward Together

So, how can we, as a society, better support these parents?

Increase Awareness: By openly discussing the realities of abuse, we can reduce stigma and encourage more families to seek help.

Build Support Networks: Communities can establish support groups where parents can share experiences and resources in a safe environment. We offer an excellent training course for parents who want to set up peer facilitation groups.

Improve Access to Resources: Advocacy for better funding and availability of counselling and trauma healing services can make a significant difference.

Foster Open Communication: Encouraging open dialogue within families can help prevent abuse and ensure that if it does occur, it’s reported and addressed promptly.

One key aspect often overlooked is the importance of fostering open communication within families. By creating a safe space where members feel heard and valued, families can address concerns before they escalate and build resilience against misunderstandings or harmful behaviours. Open dialogue not only strengthens trust but also equips individuals with the tools to navigate conflict constructively, reducing the risk of abuse.

Encouraging families to prioritise communication is especially critical for survivors of trauma, as it helps to rebuild broken trust and establish healthier dynamics. By championing this approach, organisations and communities can support a culture where respect and mutual understanding thrive.

Conclusion

No parent should have to face the aftermath of their child’s abuse alone. By understanding the overwhelm, shame, and lack of support that many parents experience, we can begin to create a more compassionate and responsive society.

Let’s stand together to support these families. Through empathy, education, and action, we can help alleviate their burden and pave the way for healing. It’s time to turn our collective outrage into meaningful change, ensuring that every parent and child has the support they need.

Now is the time to act. Share this post to raise awareness, leave a comment to join the conversation, or reach out to support organisations if you or someone you know needs help. Your voice can make a difference.

About the Author

Roz Etwaria is a dedicated DE&I Strategist, Transformational Leadership Coach, and Project Leader at LittleRo.org. She specialises in trauma research and support, with a particular focus on empowering survivors, especially people of colour. Through her work, Roz helps organisations unlock the potential of diverse teams, fostering cultures of high performance rooted in equity.

Roz’s unique combination of lived experience and professional expertise has enabled numerous organisations to build more inclusive workplaces. Her approach promotes personal growth while driving meaningful business outcomes. An accomplished speaker and consultant, Roz is a passionate advocate for justice, inclusivity, and the reclamation of personal narratives.

For Roz, this work is more than a career—it’s a mission to inspire lasting change. Connect with Roz on LinkedIn or visit RozEtwaria.com to learn how to cultivate a truly inclusive culture.

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