The Invisible Man – Travels With Brian (Eastern Europe & Me #20a)

In 2014, I took two trips to different parts of Eastern Europe, one in the spring, the other in the winter, one to Transylvania and the other to Slovakia. Eight months is not a long time between journeys, but there was a dividing line between those trips. One that I crossed over and from which I could never go back. The dividing line can be summed up in one simple and devastating word, death. Death of a friend, death in the family, death of my spiritual father. The end of a life, not just for the man who died, but for the part of me that died along with him. I would like to say it took me months to get over his death, but that would be a lie. Some things you never get over. I am still confronted by suppressed memories from that time. Those memories tend to come creeping back up on me when I least expect it. 

Constant Companion – Ones For The Road

Just the other day while I was reaching back into my memory for details of a journey I took across Transylvania, it occurred to me that this was the last trip I made while Brian was still alive. He never traveled with me to Eastern Europe, but he always traveled inside of me. Wherever I went, I carried him with me. From Brasov to Sibiu to Deva, I am sure he was there, if not physically, then spiritually. Over the years we had many conversations that touched on various aspects of eastern Europe, some trivial, others deeply meaningful. Now nine years removed from his death, those conversations are coming back to me. They bring back misty-eyed memories and provide revealing insights into the most fascinating man I have ever known.

Our journey together started with a question. “Why don’t you travel anymore?“ The question hung in the air while he pondered a reply. “Christopher, you get older, travel becomes too hard, too much bother. I would rather sit at home.” He sounded tired while telling me that. Brian used to travel much more than he liked to let on in conversations with me. That is not surprising. When I once told him of all the Brits I met at hostels and hotels in Eastern Europe, he said, “they are the most traveling people in the world.” Interestingly, he was part of the “they”. The English are indirect, and Brian was no different. They don’t just beat around the bush in a conversation, they circumnavigate the point they are trying to make. Through a strange process that only becomes perceptible to those with whom they are speaking,

C’est La Vie – Continental Connections

Brian loved France. He spoke beautiful French and once told me that if he were still single, southern France was the place to which he would have retired. Of course, he loved his last wife and their three daughters much more than the south of France. He also held Italy in high regard because Italians loved children, as did he. In the 1970’s he was a visiting scholar at the University of Rome. During that time, he went to a meet and greet with none other than Pope John Paul II. I had no experience with Catholicism and wondered what someone would discuss with the Pope other than prayers. This was of great interest to me because Brian was not a fan of religion, though he always had an affinity for the Catholic Church due to his mother’s deep devotion. When I asked Brian if he had a chance to converse with John Paul II, he said, “Oh, yes.” “Well, what did you talk about?” “Nothing much. Just hello, how are you doing. He’s just a regular guy.” That answer was classic English understatement.

The Pope being from Poland was a link with Eastern Europe that I was eager to explore with Brian. He would have none of it. He was much more smitten with Cardinal Joszef Mindszenty, the Hungarian prelate who was thrown into prison during the Stalinist era in Hungary. Mindszenty was sprung from his cell during the 1956 Hungarian Revolution. When the Revolution was crushed by the Soviets, Mindszenty fled to the safety of the American embassy where he lived for the next fifteen years. Mindszenty’s fervent opposition to communism impressed Brian. He believed Pope John Paul II was much more political. John Paul had played his cards right, Mindszenty had stuck to his principles at great personal cost.

Difficult Man – The True Believers

Brian always sided with the true believers in causes that captured his interest. This hardcore adherence to principle was one of the reasons that Brian, like Mindszenty, spent much of his time alone. As Brian once told me about Mindszenty, “he was known to be a very difficult man.” It is strange how those who have straightforward and what are perceived to be simple beliefs are extremely complex people. Brian was one of them.