The invisible illness we must learn to see

Many people know I teach youth rugby – a deep passion of mine, not only because of my love for the sport, but also because of the camaraderie and spirit it evokes in children. I’m incredibly lucky that my two boys are passionate rugby players, and I’ve had the privilege of coaching both of them throughout their rugby journeys.

Rugby is often labelled as a ‘tough’ sport, players walking around a field with mouth guards, protective head gear and, sometimes, broken bones. But what’s not always evident is that it’s also an emotionally challenging sport. Like in many other sports, players are often judged on how big and strong they are, how fast they run, how well they pass or tackle. Or worse, only get recognised for scoring the try or winning the game (the least important part of rugby in my view!).

As a rugby coach, you get to see the other side of the team. The talks in the changing room, the coach trips to away games, the ‘banter’ on the side of the pitch. Players as young as 8 or 9 are often on the receiving end of bullying for not being fast enough, tall enough, quick enough. What is most heart-breaking is seeing these young boys and girls having to deal with this pressure and feedback at such a young age, when they are still developing their identities and when they are so susceptible to criticism from the outside world, especially their peers.

On SAP’s World Mental Health Day, I want us all to take time out and focus on ourselves and what we need to be healthy and mentally strong. But I also want us to pay extra attention to our children – whether our own, our nieces and nephews, our grandchildren, our friends’, and colleagues’ children. The children we teach or coach, the kids we see every day, but perhaps don’t know very well.

Most of us spent the last two years in lockdown, we know the impact this has had on our mental health. For kids, this pressure and frustration is significantly amplified. For their growth and wellbeing, engagement with family, a teacher, coach, or a friend is crucial in helping them shape and form their own identities. For many kids globally, they’ve just not had the chance to connect enough, burn off that bottled-up frustration, or simply talk and confide in a friend in a safe way. This has all taken a significant toll on their mental health.

It's so easy to miss the signs our kids are struggling. It’s so easy to brush off their reluctance to go to school as normal and not think anything of them not wanting to go to sports practice, despite it always having brought them great joy. Mental illness doesn’t bring on a fever, a rash, or a physical symptom. The only way to know our kids are struggling is to be know the signs and pay attention. Mental illness, like any physical illness, deserves the same level of compassion, care, and treatment.

I’ve always been a fervent supporter of mental health. But over the last two years, I’ve realised that mental health really can touch anyone, and everyone. Whether you’re 12 years old and playing rugby, or whether you’re in a front-line sales role dealing with the pressure that comes with it. It can happen to any of us.

This Mental Health Day, let’s look after ourselves and each other. Do something that makes you happy, relaxes you and provides a sense of peace. And let’s continue to look out for our family, our children, our friends, our colleagues, and all those in our community.