The Invisible Cannibals Are Back!


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By: Elizabeth Cowan

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Nothing says summer is here like a human covered in itchy bites. The culprits are so small that folks use the term no-see-ums to describe them. ?

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Different parts of the country call the invisible cannibals by various names.

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For example, no-see-ums breed in moist dirt, such as on beaches in Florida and other coastal regions. According to SWAT Mosquito Systems: “They're small, blood-sucking gnats just barely visible to the naked eye. They're actually from?a family of biting flies.”?

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If you live in Texas and Oklahoma, the suffering food sources call those invisible cannibals chiggers.

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The distinction is similar to the famous Shakespearian line from Romeo and Juliet: “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” ?It does not matter what we call those chomping no-see-ums; they still itch like something from the depths of Hell.

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No matter what we call them, for this lady, the result is still some sick sort of rite of passage at the end of spring and the beginning of summer.

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She loves spending time in her flower garden. Usually, she engages in non-glamorous but productive endeavors, pulling weeds and other growing things dropped by the trees or birds. Of course, occasional stalks of grass wander in as well.

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How the grass gets there is a mystery? Perhaps it lies dormant deep in the soil and one day decides to pop up to annoy the gardener. In any case, the lady of the manor happily tugs or digs up each unwanted growth.

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Unfortunately, the critters find her during this happy activity and chomp away. She does not feel the bites when they occur. However, she certainly notices the itching later in the day.

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This lady first made the acquaintance of chiggers when she met Hubby in Oklahoma. He took her fossil hunting in tall grass. The next day, the itching set in. Her stomach was covered in red spots.

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Since she thought she had contracted measles, she went to the OU Student Health Center. The doctor took one look and started to laugh. “You aren’t from these parts, are you?”

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“No.”

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“The good news is you don’t have the measles. The bad news is those red spots are chigger bites. They’ll go away after a while. Try calamine lotion to ease the itching.”

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Calamine lotion was not much help. But, her girlfriends suggested using dabs of nail polish on each bite. The polish is supposed to suffocate the critters lurking in the bites.

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Since red nail polish was all she had at the time, her body ended up looking like a connect-the-dots board. Eventually, the fun ended, and she stocked clear nail polish for future surprises.

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With her recent bout with chigger bites, this lady discovered an effective method to stop the itching. Dabbing generous amounts of rubbing alcohol on every bite stopped the agony of the itch.

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Hubby filled an old sock with sulfur powder and slapped the sock against his legs to deter chigger bites when he spent time in the pasture or his vegetable garden. But the lady of the manor heard about another effective and more pleasant deterrent—Skin So Soft, made by Avon.

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She applies it liberally on her legs and in various crevasses to which the chiggers love to wander and bite. Usually, that method works. But not this time.

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Perhaps the chiggers, like so many viruses, became immune to Skin So Soft. Or, which is more likely the case, she should have reapplied the product before stomping around with her trimmer in the high grass.

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There are still some tall weeds to cut down. But this lady decided to wait a few days until the first rash of rashes disappeared.

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Well, that is not the real reason. Somehow, during her enthusiastic use of the Dr. Trimmer, she managed to lose the gas cap. The new one arrives in a few days, and the battle with the chiggers and weeds will then resume.

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In the meantime, her zero-turn Bad Boy lawn mower awaits another round of mowing in the Hellish Texas Heat.

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#1003

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A great gift for any occasion: Fractured Proverbs and Twisted Thoughts

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