Investors chase Charismatic Founders

Meet the only man in India who trains people in the art of charisma

Think of people like our PM Narendra Modi, or even the late Rajiv Gandhi, think of Barack Obama or Aishwarya Rai and Amitabh Bachchan. These are all charismatic people; they command attention wherever they go. They are sharply dressed, they speak eloquently and exude confidence. 

And now, there is a way you can be trained to be all of the above.

At age 18, he got his first job in an IT firm. At 20, he worked as a consultant with Microsoft, and at 22, he was the youngest international product manager in Yahoo India. But charisma, he says, always fascinated him and he continued doing research on the topic during his free time.

“Eventually I was able to develop a step-by-step teaching system, which helps one to become remarkably charismatic. I started delivering guest talks in business schools and soon Charisma Coaching changed from a hobby to passion and now this is what I see myself doing for the rest of my life,” he says.

We got an opportunity to speak to him recently about his life and how “learning” to be charismatic can change one’s life. Interested? Here are the excerpts from the talk.

How do you define charisma? 
Charisma is what allows you to command a room, draw others to you and convince people of your ideas. Charismatic people are perceived as both likeable and powerful; an irresistible combination that opens endless doors of opportunity. Thanks to the research by sociologists, cognitive and behavioral scientists, we now understand charisma as a set of behaviors that can be learned, practiced and mastered. With the right guidance and practice, anybody can become remarkably charismatic. As a charisma coach, I define it as ‘an ability to trigger strong positive emotions in people, which in turn enable you to better connect, inspire and lead.’

Is there a scientific approach to learn charisma?
Of course. For example, in one controlled lab experiment, it was proven that people could lower and raise their level of charisma, almost like turning a door knob. In fact, researchers at the MIT media lab were able to predict the outcomes of sales calls, negotiations, and business plan pitches with 87% accuracy, not by listening to a single word of content, but by analyzing voice fluctuations and the facial expressions of the person pitching. 

How important dressing well is. A little about that. How does that impact others?
Physical appearance is as important as the mental state. Dressing plays a big role in boosting an individual’s confidence. Like it or not, people judge us by the way we look and that includes the way we dress. 

According to a series of studies published in the Evolution and Human Behavior journal, labels can provide an advantage. Here are some findings:
- A man wearing a shirt featuring a logo of a niche brand was rated as having a higher status than the same man with logo photoshopped out. A woman wearing a sweater with a designer logo got response rate of 52% (versus 13% for the same woman wearing sweater sans logo) when asking passers-by to take a survey. 
- Participants watching a man interviewing for a job found him more suitable for the job and deserving 9% higher salary when he was wearing the shirt with the premium label logo than the same man without a logo on the shirt. 
- Wearing a premium logo resulted in twice as many contributions when soliciting for charity. 

Power dressing can significantly boost your persona, as long as you dress relevant to the occasion.

How does culture in different countries influence charisma coaching?
The roots of Charisma Coaching lies in the Evolutionary and Cognitive behaviors, which are hard-wired in humans, irrespective of their country of residence and culture. For example: The universal signal of recognition and acknowledgement is the “Eyebrow Flash”, which requires you to slightly raise your eyebrows and open your eyes slightly more than normal. That said, certain nuances and finer aspects of charisma coaching vary with respect to social customs and culture but the basic principles mostly remain unchanged.

Body language?—?that is a major part of our personality and how people judge us?—?some tips on how to conquer that.
Our brain is programmed to makes snap judgements about everyone we come across to sort them in one of the following two major categories: Friend or Foe. 

Charismatic people are good at triggering friend response in the people around them by demonstarating behaviors that the brain perceives as friendly. 

Smile, open posture, soft eye-contact, relaxed facial expressions and calm voice to name a few can instantaneously put you in people’s friend category without them being consciously aware of it. 

Top 10 body-language tips to make a charismatic impression:

• Have a genuine ‘flooding’ smile
• Enter a room with chin slightly raised up
• Greet people with a slight “eyebrow flash”
• Shake hands to connect instantly with someone
• Try ‘mirroring’ to build strong rapport
• Use fluid hand gestures to explain your point
• Avoid nodding too much in conversations
• Avoid putting one or both hands in pocket
• Don’t fidget
• Touch or pat people to show appreciation

Who do you consider most charismatic in Bollywood?
Shahrukh Khan?—?I have interacted with him a few times and have also observed him closely at various occasions. He is one of the few stars with an equally powerful charisma on-screen and off. He is very enthusiastic and here is a thing about enthusiasm.. it is infectious! SRK’s persona has elements of various charisma styles working together in perfect harmony. He has a strong presence, razor sharp focus and just the right amount of warmth. People who have interacted with him say that he would often go that extra mile to make you feel special. His cocky-funny humor combined with an impeccable dress sense puts him miles ahead on the charisma scale in comparison to his peers. 

Aamir Khan has a strong warmth charisma, which can be often observed on his TV show, Satyamev Jayate. On the other end of the spectrum, we have Salman Khan, who commands a powerful authority charisma with a dash of kindness charisma. The super nice, super righteous characters he usually plays in movies add to his offscreen kindness charisma. 

Any anecdotes you can share as examples of what you do, and how it helps people?
I once got a phone call from the secretary of an A-list Bollywood actor who wanted to meet me. The actor was supposed to go on a reality TV show the next day, in which he wanted to convey a specific style of charisma. We were really short of time, so I had to conduct an impromtu 2-hour session with him at midnight, in which we focused on visualization techniques, specific body language adjustments, and voice modulation to highlight the desired charisma style. In the end, it was worth the effort and that episode turned out to be very popular.

Can one seem charismatic all the time?

No. Most charismatic people are good at switching on and switching off at will. In fact some of the most charismatic people I have known and observed may seem completely uncharismatic when they are all by themselves or in a relaxed social scenario. Being truly charismatic can sometimes be exhausting because it requires one to be in the state of heightened mental and physical awareness. That’s why I recommend internalizing the charismatic behaviors by constant repetition, till they become a part of your natural existence. I like to say, “Don’t fake it till you make it, but fake it till you become it.”

So with that in mind, here are top 11 ways to become more charismatic:

■ Take up space?—?think STEVE JOBS: Steve Jobs strolled all over the stage while speaking to his audiences. He never stood at one spot. Charismatic people aren’t concerned about taking up space wherever they are. It’s a sign of confidence, but don’t overdo it.

■ Pay attention to your posture: Not only does your posture convey messages to other people, it also changes the way you see yourself. Stand up straight, keep your chin up and avoid putting your hands near your face or neck.

■ Voice is key: Good voice tone can project power and status, and people who speak with a lower vocal pitch are often perceived as more dominant and attractive. Avoid rising intonation at the end of sentences as it indicates indecisiveness and neediness.

■ Be an active listener?—?think BILL CLINTON: When you speak to Bill Clinton, you have his undivided attention, even if you speak to him for a moment. Charismatic people make others feel special, so it’s important to be fully present in any interaction. Find ways to avoid distractions, such as not checking mobile phones, when you’re talking to people. By giving 100 per cent of your attention, you’ll make the other person feel special and important.

■ Be an active listener?—?think BILL CLINTON: When you speak to Bill Clinton, you have his undivided attention, even if you speak to him for a moment. Charismatic people make others feel special. Give all your attention to the person you’re interacting with.

■ Slow down to appear poised: Fidgeting and jerky body movements make you appear nervous or anxious; however, by eliminating these, you seem more poised and in control. Good leaders speak slowly and precisely.

■ Dress impeccably: World leaders and chief executives stick to power dressing because it works. Come up with your own version of power dressing that complements your personality, profile and the occasion. First appearances count, so if you want to make a great impression, look to your wardrobe.

■ Speak expressively?—?think JASON SILVA: All charismatic people speak expressively. Period. They speak with enthusiasm, which triggers an emotional response inside you. The energy in your voice engages other people. Genuinely feel the emotion, that you want others to feel, yourself first.

■ Smile more?—?think TOM CRUISE: We have heard it time and again, yet few people really make smiling a part of their interactions with others. But smile genuinely. A fake smile can actually trigger a foe signal in the minds of people. You can’t fake a genuine smile. Practice feeling positive emotions.

■ Make eye contact?—?think DALAI LAMA: Eye contact not just conveys confidence and power, but it helps us to connect with others. A sign of power and confidence, eye contact also helps us to connect with others by helping to determine honesty and trustworthiness. Add occasional blinks and head nods to avoid coming across as too intense or aggressive.

■ Be aware?—?think OPRAH WINFREY: Charismatic people are very good at picking up on social cues and other people’s body language. They adapt to any person or social situation seamlessly. One minute they may appear powerful and authoritative, and turn into the most empathetic person the next.

■ Avoid making barriers?—?think TONY ROBBINS: We’re aware that crossing our arms and having a closed body language is no good in a social setting. Avoid holding on to props like pens, phones, and mics during presentations. Having empty, open palms that people can see helps build trust and connection

Do you know any Indian who went through a dramatic transformation to become a charismatic person?
Navjot Singh Siddhu is a good example. We’ve all heard stories about how he was perceived as uncharismatic when he used to play International cricket for India. The kind of transformation he went through in last 8–10 years is inspirational.

PS: This story was originally published on Yahoo! on June 10th 2015. Click here to read it on Yahoo! website

Meet Danish Sheikh Charisma Coach.