Investing In Relationships: Guest Contributor, Brett Baur

Click here to read the original blog from February 4, 2020.

#TheGroundFloor is excited to welcome guest contributor, Brett Baur , for this week’s edition! Brett has been a close friend of mine for a while now, including a few years we spent as roommates while we both started to build our careers in Pittsburgh.

On top of having a wonderful personal relationship with Brett as one of my closest friends, he and I also share a great professional relationship where we are able to be a sounding board for each other in many aspects of our professional roles. Brett was an integral piece in the early planning stages for Andrew Exler Marketing , lending a helping hand in many branding & marketing conversations to get this business up and running. I am very excited to welcome Brett to #TheGroundFloor where he dives deeper into one of my most highly-valued topics, relationships. Enjoy!

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Withdrawals vs Deposits

A man walks into a bank. It’s his first time in the bank. He just ‘met’ the bank and wants to open an account. He sits down with the bank teller, learns the process, and immediately wants to withdraw $500. He wants the money right now, but obviously, he can’t have it. He hasn’t made any deposits into his account to withdraw. The man dismisses the bank, walks out, and tries the bank down the street, yet again unsuccessful.

Ridiculous concept, right? Why do people take that approach when meeting people for the first time and building relationships? We’ve all been in situations where we’ve just met someone and they are already asking for your time, connections, money, a job interview, etc. They make the initial interaction about them and what they are trying to accomplish.

I was taught to view relationships as a bank account; you need to make deposits into relationships before you can make a withdrawal. It shouldn’t first be about what they can do for you, but what you can do for them.

Networking vs Investing

Networking and investing in relationships, in my mind, are two different concepts when it comes to relationship building. I regularly chat with college students who are trying to break into the sports and entertainment industry. I tell them the bank account metaphor and explain the difference between networking and investing. Networking means meeting people, a lot of people, and having very surface level interactions. Investing means taking a handful of those people and building long, lasting and meaningful relationships with them.

I explain that getting into the sports and entertainment world is difficult. There is an element of '“who you know” to help grow your career. I explain to them, it’s not an element of who you know, but who knows you. If you want to get to that secondary level, you need to invest in those relationships.

How might you do that?

Terry Kalna , Senior Vice President of Sales & Broadcasting of the Pittsburgh Penguins, recommended I read The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath. The book discusses in depth that defining moments in our lives are remembered as peak moments; we have more control than we think in helping create richer experiences. ?

One chapter of the book drives home the point that these moments are richer when you have deeper ties with people around you. Heath & Heath (2017) reference a study published in 2007 by social psychologist Harry T. Reis titled, “Steps Toward the Ripening of Relationship Science.” In the study, Reis (2007) explains relationships are stronger when we perceive that our partners are responsive to us. Responsiveness, he concludes, encompasses three things:

1. Understanding: My partner knows how I see myself and what is important to me
2. Validation: My partner respects who I am and what I want
3. Caring: My partner takes active and supportive steps in helping me meet my needs (or in other words, making deposits into the relationship).

Think about your own strongest relationships. These three areas are more likely prominent and apparent to those people.

Tactics

Yes, so far this has had a theoretical lens. So, I want to suggest tactics that may help in investing in your own relationships.

• Develop and manage a personal relationship tracker- similar to a CRM (Customer Relationship Management). Identify important and key contacts in your organization, field, community, church, or other affiliations and track your interactions with them. Are there long gaps in your communications? Are you keeping up with their birthdays, kids, and personal accomplishments? Can you get them a small gift that lets them know you are thinking about them?
• Write down a personal or professional goal you have for yourself. Then write down the name of three people who could help you achieve that goal. Now try to write down how you could help them and start there (make those deposits).
• Open up about yourself and give details about your life. Sharing your world with someone gives them the ability to learn more about you. It’s human nature to reciprocate, so they will open up about themselves which will help you understand them at a deeper level. Look for those connection points and commonalities that can build the foundation of a strong relationship.
• Ask questions! It may sound simple but be curious and ask questions about their personal and professional life. If you are going to meet with someone new or even an old contact, write down questions beforehand.

Life is better with meaningful relationships. I, myself, am continuing to learn this complex concept of relationships where no single path takes you from point A to point B. Hopefully, this framework helps you take your relationships to the next level and build your ‘bank accounts’ a little bit deeper.

- Brett

About Brett?

Brett Baur is currently the Vice President, Corporate & Premium Partnership Sales for the Pittsburgh Pirates .?Brett’s partnership philosophy stems from a notion taught by an industry mentor – “we want to be viewed as teammates, not a team you sponsor”.?

Previously, Brett was the Vice President, Global Partnerships at Monumental Sports & Entertainment and a Senior Manager of Partnerships with the Pittsburgh Penguins where he developed unique platforms and campaigns for brands like Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices, the Preferred Realty, Evoqua Water Technologies, FanDuel, HBK CPAs & Consultants, Kent State University, The Milkshake Factory, Orr’s Jewelers, Robert Morris University, Window Nation, and others.?

Brett and Andrew Exler have been friends since they first met in the Spring of 2016 and have helped each other grow personally and professionally. Andrew introduced Brett to Pittsburgh’s 50 Finest with the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and helped him get accepted into the program while mentoring him through the process. Brett and Andrew regularly discuss sports business, philanthropy, marketing trends and continue to push each other to succeed!

If you’d like to contact Brett, please reach out to him on LinkedIn or via email at [email protected]!

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Thank you, Brett, for being a guest contributor for #TheGroundFloor !

I am always open to welcoming guest contributors to #TheGroundFloor ! If you are interested in writing or have a specific topic you’d like discussed, please contact me!

- Andrew

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