Introverts Unite!

Introverts unite! Separately. In your own homes. ?? It’s a well-known joke that makes a very serious point. If you’re an introvert like me, you might be struggling to find your voice in this extroverted world. 

As an introvert, I’ve found it hard to be heard at times and I know I’m not alone. But as a leader, and a coach of leaders, I have no choice but to speak up. One of the most common issues I come across is leaders struggling to be seen and heard, when putting themselves forward doesn’t come naturally. And because I’ve had to overcome this myself, I’ve been able to share my simple tips to make sure you’re visible in a range of interactions.

The face to face meeting

It’s about as old-fashioned as it comes, but my first suggestion is to raise your hand when you want to talk. It will feel silly to start with, and you’ll get a tired arm because people have forgotten this very polite way to indicate that you have something to say. But it worked in the classroom for the same reasons it will work in a meeting room – everyone gets to have their say and no-one talks over each other. Do people look at me like I’m a weirdo? Yeah, they do. But they also recognise that I have something to say, and I get to add my 2 cents worth. It’s weird but it works. You’ll learn to love it as much as I do, and you might even start a trend.

The phone call/Skype call/video conference

This is harder – if a hand is up and no-one sees it, does it make a sound? Uh, no. So, you need to practice something most introverts struggle with – interrupting. I know it’s a dirty word, but you need to get good at this if want the rest of the team to know you were on the call. To practice your interrupting, try this: clear your throat (dramatically); if that doesn’t work, you’re going to need to speak up – but don’t start with your question or your point, just announce yourself. “Hi, it’s Carly here.” Don’t whisper it, don’t pose it as a question, just say it with confidence and stop right there. Someone will eventually stop talking and call on you, and then you can make your point. If no-one invites you to speak up, check you’re not still on mute. #wealldoit

The conference

The conference is a terrifying event for introverts – I’m not even going to mention the horror of sitting at a table of people you don’t know, making small talk over lunch, or the worst part of all… networking! No, let’s just stick with the stammer-inducing, sweat-producing act of asking a question in front of hundreds of people. Here’s my top tip: just write it down and read it out. If in doubt, “can you tell me more about Blah Blah?” is a great question, if you replace Blah Blah with something related to the speaker’s topic, otherwise it’s a ridiculous question. And if the stress of standing up in front of thousands of people means you can’t think of a witty comeback, stick with the tried and tested “thank you very much” and then sit down. And breathe again. And realise you just asked a question in front of millions of people and lived to tell the tale.

Can we go back to …?

And finally, the most empowering piece of advice I can give to introverts. It’s never too late to contribute. We’re introverts and we don’t like talking over people. But we’re also intelligent human beings and we've got something to say. So, don’t let the fact that the moment has passed stop you from having a voice. It’s an easy fix – just start with “can we go back to Blah Blah for a minute, I’ve got something to add to that”. As long as you replace Blah Blah with something that was mentioned earlier, otherwise they’ll think you’re even more odd than when you stuck your hand in the air.

“Introverts unite!” might be a well-known joke, but the truth is, if we do unite we can learn some useful techniques from each other. Try one or all of these and see what works for you. And if you've got any other tips and tricks, share them with me. Oh, and if you’re reading this but you’re actually an extrovert, then maybe just be supportive when you see someone putting their hand up or asking to go back to an earlier point. That would be awesome. ??