An Introvert's Guide to Self-Compassion

February is already/ finally here (I know January was a loooong month for many of us) and, if you're anything like me you're currently finding those memes about the year starting now, as January was a 'trial' month, relatable.

I've already posted about my relative absence on LinkedIn so far this year, due to being immersed in experiences on my travels and then sickness/ extreme fatigue but what I haven't mentioned is the mental struggle that's comes with the feeling that I haven't yet 'achieved' anything.

My travel experiences were certainly valuable, but I have, in all honesty, done nothing to progress my business, build my brand or be the me I want to be this year... and the irony of this isn't lost on me, seeing as I wanted one of my areas to be improving my self-discipline (I've been reading how it's discipline and consistency, rather than motivation, that really moves the needle).

Of course, my default reaction was to mentally beat myself up; to focus on what I haven't done. But does doing this benefit me?

Heck, no!

If anything, allowing yourself to enter the negative spiral of self-criticism only creates additional blocks to progress.

So, instead, I've been trying to lean into self-compassion.

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is the act of being kind, understanding, and gentle with oneself when faced with personal difficulties, failures, or shortcomings. It involves recognising and accepting one's human limitations (that we all make mistakes) and treating oneself with the same kindness and compassion that we would extend to a good friend. Self-compassion also involves a non-judgmental and balanced view of one's experiences, rather than overly harsh self-criticism.

It has three core elements:

1. Self-kindness - talking to yourself as you would a friend.
2. Humanity - recognising that all humans are 'flawed'.
3. Mindfulness - acknowledging, and accepting, the experience.

The benefits of being your own best friend

There have been numerous studies over the past decade evidencing the benefits of practising self-compassion, ranging from greater happiness, to stronger relationships, improved resilience and better physical and mental health. In short, self-compassion dramatically improves our well-being.

For introverts, who tend to be more naturally introspective and self-critical, self-compassion can be a critical aspect of mental health, and an essential tool to maintain a positive self-image.

Embracing our full selves, including our 'imperfections', gives us the strength to thrive.

And so, if you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk - the sort of things you'd never say to a friend - stop! Instead, focus on small steps you can take to move in the direction you want to go. Ask yourself “What do I need now?”.

By treating yourself with kindness and understanding, you can learn to accept your limitations and imperfections, and focus on your strengths and positive qualities. This shift in perspective can help you feel more confident and secure, enabling you to approach life with more positivity and resilience.

Practice daily

In addition to helping introverts improve their self-image, self-compassion can also help them cope with the stress and pressures of daily life. Introverts are often more sensitive to their surroundings, which can result in increased stress and anxiety. By treating themselves with kindness and compassion, introverts can reduce the impact of stress on their mental health and well-being. This can help them to approach life with more resilience, even in the face of difficult challenges.

So how can we practice self-compassion in their daily lives? Here are a few tips:

1. Practice mindfulness: mindfulness is the act of being present and fully engaged in the moment. By practicing mindfulness, we can become more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can help us to identify negative self-talk and shift our perspective to a more compassionate and non-judgmental view.
2. Write in a journal: writing in a journal can be a powerful tool for us to reflect on our thoughts and feelings. By writing down our experiences, we can gain a deeper understanding of our emotions and learn to respond to them with self-compassion.
3. Talk to a trusted friend: sharing experiences with a trusted friend can help us feel more understood and supported. By discussing our thoughts and feelings with a friend, we can gain a different perspective on our experiences and develop a more compassionate and accepting view of themselves. Talking to a coach, or mentor, can be equally beneficial.
4. Practice self-care: self-care is an essential aspect of self-compassion. By taking care of our physical and emotional needs, we can show ourselves that we are deserving of kindness and compassion. Self-care activities can include exercise, meditation, and engaging in hobbies that bring joy and fulfilment.

We're in a new month; each new day is a fresh start.

So, if your year hasn't quite started as you'd anticipated, remember to be kind to yourself.

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Quiet Leaders Podcast

It was a great honour to be invited to speak with Intentional Futurist, Juliet Morris, as a guest on her Quiet Leaders Podcast: check out our conversation here:

https://julietpmorris.com/listen/

https://bit.ly/apple-quietleaders

https://bit.ly/google-quietleaders

https://bit.ly/spotify-quietleaders

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About Me

I help introverts develop authentic confidence, through coaching, training and digital products, so that they can thrive without having to change who they are, and companies through training, coaching and consultancy, to address the workplace bias towards extroversion.

Through developing my own authentic confidence I have been able to build a life on my terms, working part-time for full-time income, travel solo around the world, work with companies like Google and speak, with confidence, to entire auditoriums. I've already helped thousands of individuals, across 169 countries globally, to develop confidence and communication skills, as well as manage Imposter Syndrome and limiting beliefs. Helping others feel enough is my passion.

If you are an introvert looking to feel more confident, set boundaries to help you balance your time and be able to understand, and communicate, your value to others; a leader looking to better support your introverted talent; or a company committed to achieving intersectional equity and inclusion, DM me or?visit my website , to find out more about how I can help you.

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