The introvert's guide to networking

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. In any business environment, one of the keys to success is having a well-established network. We’re all in sales on some capacity, even when looking for a job, and having business contacts across industries always come in handy. However, the concept of networking doesn’t come naturally to everyone, myself included. Earlier in my career, all I wanted is to come to work and do my job. As an immigrant, English isn’t my first language. Striking a conversation wasn’t easy, as I didn’t always understand the local accent, the current affairs small talk discussions, and some of the more social topics, like the local sports scene. I was self-conscious about my own accent, and lack of interest in small talk, and didn’t go out of my way to attend networking events. However, I’ve discovered  that that wasn’t a good recipe for success, in any field. I remember reading Stepping Into The Spotlight, a book which has changed my view on networking, and public appearance in general. Over the years, I’ve become a lot more comfortable with meeting other people, and building a network, an ongoing activity I still get involved in today.

Today, I’m considering networking an integral part of my business life, and actively looking for the right networking opportunities. I won’t just connect with anyone on LinkedIn, “for networking purposes”. I don’t believe “online networking” add any value, not to me and certainly not to people in my network. I have shared my views on LinkedIn etiquette in the past. I believe offline networking works well (old skool, I know!), so I thought I’d share my own way of dealing with being an introvert, in the business environment. When I first started going to networking events, I had to remind myself that I need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. These steps below helped me a lot!

Preparation

List things you want to learn from others. Have a few questions ready to ask random strangers. Write a few questions down before hand, and practice them..

Then think about what you want to share with others, to make a connection. Don’t be afraid to share non-work related stuff (movies, TV, music, art, sport, etc. Please avoid Politics, Sex and Religion discussions, as those are divisive topics, that will likely to get you in trouble).

Find a conference buddy

A colleague or a friend can help with anxiety, but don’t just hang out together. Make it a game – who can collect the most business cards, talk to more ladies than gents, etc.

Get in early

A lot of anxiety arises from stepping into an already bustling room, where you - as the new arrival - has to “interrupt” an existing conversation. When you get in early, you’ll find it easier to spark up a conversation with another “potential” introvert. That can be a very easy transition into the next point.

Spot the loner

Instead of focusing on your own anxiety, look around to see the person who’s looking around, looking uncomfortable, and just walk over and say hi! The best way is to pretend you’re the host, and greet people as they come in… People who come alone, or even in pairs, will immediately feel more comfortable with you, and conversation will flow from there.

Have a goal

Why are you in here in the first place? Make sure you are comfortable with the reason you’re networking, and it will be easier for you to start / hold a conversation. In addition, have a quantified outcome in mind: meet 5 new people, collect 5 new email addresses, get 1 coffee meeting, etc.

Get them to do the talking

As an introvert, you don’t particularly like talking to strangers, especially about yourself. But you know, most people actually love talking about themselves! All you need to do is find a trigger, and all the flood gates will burst open. Notice something about the other person, such as item of clothing, accessory or name (in many events people will wear their name tag), and ask a clarifying question… It might take a little practice, but it works!

Be present

Start the conversation with the intent of listening, not responding. When you ask the question, wait and listen intently to the answer. Than follow up with the next question, asking to clarify the first answer.

Smile

Starting a conversation doesn’t necessarily require words. A warm, engaging smile can get other people talking to you first. When you start with a smile, you’ll allowing the other person to initiate the conversation, taking the pressure off of you.

Chatting is just the beginning

Once you get people talking, and you’re intently listening, you might hear something which could be of value to either you, someone you know, or even someone you’ve just met in that same networking event. Wait for the right opportunity and say: “oh, that’s interesting! Let me introduce you to [someone]”. Then ask for a business card, or write down their details somewhere (if you don’t have a pen /paper, use your Smartphone to take a note).

Follow up

Many people will leave a networking event, with a bunch of business cards in their pockets, which are likely to end up on the desk, or in the drawer (or in worst situations – to be found after your shirt / trousers come back from the wash). That’s a shame, and misses the entire point of networking… The contacts you’ve met are nothing but names, until you develop long term relationships with.

Choose the people you have sparked a conversation with, and send them a brief note:

“Great to meet you [time stamp] and find out all about [topic of discussion]. It was interesting to note [something interesting].. Would be great to [grab a coffee – suggest a time] [or Stay in touch]. Let’s connect on Linkedin (invitation sent) too.

Save my contact details [below – email signature] for future opportunities!

Those tactics have worked well for me over the years. I must admit I’m still an introvert, but not as uncomfortable with meeting new people as I was before.

If you are an introvert – what do you do to overcome your inhibitions? Please share in the comments below..